


The Collectible

by Lizardbeth



Category: Guardians of the Galaxy (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, Thor (Movies)
Genre: Canon Divergence - Post-Thor (2011), Gen, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Loki (Marvel) Angst, Loki Joins the Guardians, POV Loki (Marvel), Suicidal Thoughts, Torture
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-16
Updated: 2019-12-21
Packaged: 2021-02-01 07:54:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 24,376
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21447928
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lizardbeth/pseuds/Lizardbeth
Summary: Loki lets himself fall at the Bifrost, thinking (hoping) death will follow. But death doesn't come - instead, it's much worse, as he's sold to the Collection of Taneleer Tivan. A telepathic hound becomes his companion in suffering, but their luck is about to change.
Comments: 166
Kudos: 394
Collections: Loki crash-landing in people’s backyards





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [RenneMichaelsArt (RenneMichaels)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/RenneMichaels/gifts).

> Woo hoo, Marvel Bang 2019! The fic is complete and will post in a few installments. Enjoy!
> 
> Please go look at the wonderful art of Loki and Cosmo that RenneMichaels made, [ HERE ](https://archiveofourown.org/works/21448798) (in addition to the title below). Thank you so much! <3

Loki was vaguely aware that they’d stopped. Doubled over in the crate, chained like a beast. 

Because he was a beast, wasn’t he? He’d changed in the snow, but he couldn't change back. He was that… thing again. He’d claw his skin off, except he knew it went deeper than that. All the way to the bone. 

_Poison bone, foul blood, creature skin… monster. Loathsome. _

He wanted to scream that it wasn’t true, it couldn’t be true, this was all some nightmare. Some illusion. 

J_ust let me die, just please make this end_… 

But the words wouldn’t leave his lips. Not anymore. Not after screaming and raging as the darkness closed in.

Trapped in this box, he was back there, again and again, in the _nothing._

He had looked up, at Odin, at Thor, and he'd seen no place for him. He'd seen rejection, a door slamming in his face, a return to being scorned and mocked and despised. So he'd let go. 

The fall – the nothing, the void that had summoned him – he’d thought it would kill him right away, and he’d embraced that. But death didn’t come, just falling, nothingness. He would fall forever but not die. 

So he’d summoned everything he had, to rip a hole out. Somewhere. It didn’t matter where, and he couldn’t control it anyway, not from within the nothingness. And if the effort killed him, all the better.

The agony ripped through him, and he had enough time to regret everything before finally it stopped.

It took another eternity to open his eyes, barely with enough strength to do that. He’d fallen back asleep before he could do more than look at the sky and unfamiliar stars. At least there were stars. That meant he was out. He was free. 

Worse, he was alive. 

When he opened his eyes again, the stars glowed at him. Taunting him for his failure to end properly. 

_You lived, creature. Now what?_

Maybe if he lay there long enough, it would end. He could feel his lifeforce was scarcely an ember, wounded and drained by all he’d spent to escape the void. It wouldn't take much to end him. All the strength his body should have – or not, really, was it, because he wasn’t Aesir, was he? No he wasn’t. So he wouldn’t have their immortality. It was always a lie. 

A jest at his expense. Oh yes, the mighty Odin and his frost giant hostage, dressed up in Aesir guise so he could laugh behind his beard at the poor fool trying so hard to be a warrior. “_Practice more, Loki, all you need to do focus_.” 

It really all made sense, now. Not only was Thor the favorite son, he was the _only _son. Loki was just there to make sure Laufey didn’t squirm out from under Odin’s boot. Then Loki had so helpfully killed Laufey, and what purpose did Loki have left? 

Loki thought of his desperate attempt to prove he could still be useful, that he could still be Odin’s son and do what the king and Thor had both failed to do, but they couldn’t tolerate him winning anything. So, Thor had destroyed the bridge, and Odin had made it clear he was done with Loki. Loki had made the mistake of finding out the truth; like one of his illusions, once it was known to be false, it was gone. He was no son of Odin's, no brother of Thor's. There was nothing left for him. 

Why would he let Thor pull him up, go back to a place he knew wasn’t his? Go back to mockery and derision? Where everyone hated him? Everything he’d had was less than what Thor had, but he’d told himself: ‘at least I have a brother and father and mother who care. I have a place in this family, even if Asgard itself isn’t sure what to do with me.’

Poor deluded fool.

‘We never wanted you to feel different’ she’d said. Except for the thousand times he’d felt different and wrong, anyway. Except for the thousand times he’d heard stories about the beasts of Jotunheim. Except for how Frigga had taught him magic to give him something of his own, and Odin had turned around and given Mjolnir to Thor, to make sure that Thor was more powerful. Because ‘tricks’ were shameful in battle, but striking your enemies with lightning was worthy. 

But now it all made sense. They couldn’t let the secret Frost Giant get too strong; they couldn’t have him think he was _important_. Why, he might get delusions that he could actually rule. No wonder Thor’s friends and Heimdall had been so quick to betray him. They couldn’t have the enemy on the throne.

Well, they wanted an enemy, so now they’d get one. Liars, betrayers, all of them. They were done with him, but he was done with them, too. 

If he ever went back, he would destroy them.

But the bold rageful declaration fell flat, on the realization that he had no strength, no power, to do that. His body was too weak to rise, and worse, he could not sense seidr at all. The effort of transferring and wielding the dark energy to get out of the void had burnt his powers entirely. He had no strength to even _find _seidr, so touching it, wielding any sorcery at all, was beyond him.

It had been at that moment of realization that he was completely exhausted, and he might have to sleep in this bare stony land for a week before he was strong enough to stand up and look around, that a flying craft had appeared overhead. 

It had shone a bright light on him, and some voice had commanded over a very loud comm system to not move. He had waved a hand, as much as he could, trying to acknowledge cheekily that he heard, and they had shot him. 

He'd fallen unconscious, and waking up the next time had proved that there was no end to his cursed life. 

The Kree military had noted the energy of his arrival. In his weakened Aesir form, they'd thought him a spy from Xandar. And that had been just the start of the hell...

Loki's memory shied away, trying to remember he'd escaped them finally, only to end up in Ravager hands, who had stuffed him into this box. To sell him to another owner, to sell him to further torment, further pain, further humiliation he could not escape.

It was laughable really. Weak, pathetic, useless... no wonder Odin didn't want him. Away from Asgard, Loki was nothing at all. 

The crate opened, the sides dropping outward, and Loki had to shut his eyes against the sudden brightness. His legs flopped with ungainly lack of control to one side, and he hissed with the pain. 

“So. What have we here?” a male voice, unfamiliar accent asked with cool tone. It sharpened. “Kree? I have no use for a Kree.” 

“He ain’t a Kree.” There was a pause and a bit of a sound as if he’d gotten poked. “Sir. Mister Tavan.” 

A woman’s voice corrected, “Master Tivan.” 

“Right, right, Master Tivan. We heard you liked new creatures. And we knew that this wasn’t no Kree and no Centauran neither. Unless some Kree do that to their skin and have red eyes?” the man added with new doubt. “Damn, Earin, you told me he wasn’t no Kree!” 

Cool fingers touched Loki’s wrist and lifted it. He tried to pull free, but the grip was strong. Fingers traced the raised ridges on his skin, and Loki’s stomach tightened with disgust. Jotunn markings. 

Then his hand was put down and fingers moved to his face, but Loki managed to whip his head aside from the touch. He opened his eyes to glare at whoever this was touching him. He tried to speak, tell the creature to _let him go_, but all that emerged was a garbled noise, blocked by the muzzle along his jaw and beneath his nose, forcing his mouth closed. 

The man - “Master Tivan” was humanoid, with whitish hair and eyes utterly without mercy, as he inspected Loki as if he were an irritating pet.

“Interesting,” Tivan murmured. “You’re right, he is no Kree.” His eyes said he knew exactly what Loki was. 

“Then, you want him?” one of Loki’s captors asked eagerly. “Is he special?” 

Tivan answered, “No.”

Something inside Loki flinched at the flat answer. It felt brutal but true; he’d always believed he was special – a _prince – _but now he’d leared exactly how not special he was. 

“Oh. You don’t want him?” 

“I will take him, very well. Two hundred.”

“Sir! We came all this way with this creature for you!” 

“And I’m paying you what it’s worth. Or you can take him elsewhere. Perhaps the Kree would pay for a slave,” Tivan said, turning away in disinterest. 

“Nah, he’s useless for that.” 

Loki’s hands jerked in his bonds, as he flinched at the flash of memory: hands and boots, all over his body, pain, trying to force him to respond, to obey, and he locked inside himself, tighter and tighter, with the pain and shame and weakness, hoping they’d just kill him and end it.

He's thought when the slavers had taken him after his escape from the Kree, that they'd sell him back. But no. When they’d shoved him into the crate it was to sell him to someone else. But why? He had no value. No fear to motivate him into obedience, only a physical shell that persisted, and a mind that clung to it for no good reason. 

“All right, all right, sir, Master Tivan. Two hundred, done,” the pirate said eagerly, practically falling over himself to accept the deal.” 

“Carina, pay him and see them out,” Tivan ordered. 

The softer female voice said, “Yes, Master.”

Footsteps receded and Tivan returned to the table. “Oh, yes,” he murmured. “You are fascinating. I know your kind,” he said to Loki. “I already have one here in the Collection. But this… soft features....” His fingers touched Loki’s forehead, and Loki tried to jerk away, but the hand clamped down keeping him still. 

“And your small stature. I wonder what exactly you are. But you are unique, and an excellent addition to the Collection.” He let go and turned away, ordering sharply, “Carina, prepare a complete genetic analysis. I want to know exactly what it is I have purchased.” 

“Yes, Master.” 

Tivan walked away, and Loki tried to move. Wanting out of this place. Bought and sold like a pig at auction. 

But his hands were still restrained behind his back, ankles bound together, and he couldn’t speak. His strength was still at low ebb, his body healed but his power was nearly mortal. Trying to reach for seidr was like digging through mud; but at least he was sensing it at all. He'd been able to change form on that trading planet with the snow, hoping to hide from his Kree pursuers, but his panic in the box had left him too weak to change back.

A female, presumably ‘Carina’, appeared in his line of sight, and he flinched with surprise. Even trying not to do it again, he flinched when warm fingers touched him, and her touch withdrew. Her face drew tight in puzzlement or concern. 

She glanced away to check for her master, before murmuring to him, “It isn’t painful. Be calm.” 

Shamed by his weakness at his reactions, he looked away. Once he'd been strong, now… what? A prisoner. Weak. Lost. 

Nothing.

She patted his arm once, and he felt a quick jab in his neck. 

He thought it would be for a sample, but instead a drowsiness stole through his body, relaxing his muscles, until he fell into the dark. 

* * *

It was a dream. He knew that inside the dream, but knowing was not enough to make it stop. The nightmare continued: falling, and leering and hands on him, and pain. 

So much pain, so much fear. Nothing he’d ever known before, but helpless, he’d felt it. Enough to want to cry out for help, except he’d been powerless and he couldn’t.

_Please make it stop… _

But the nightmare continued, dark and endless, clinging to him like spiderwebs, though he pushed them away. 

_This is a dream, this is not real, I know it’s not real. _

Nothing helped, as clawed hands held him down and pulled his hair. He struggled, but only to be hit again and again, until the pain engulfed him. 

Then with a dream’s abruptness it was over and he was in a dark corridor, with hands coming out of the walls, grabbing at him. Pulling him down..

and it all happened again. 

_This is not real. It’s not real. _

It was enough like what had happened, he couldn’t escape, he couldn’t fight. 

Heavy metal collar around his neck, beaten, electrocuted, starved, to train him to serve, chained down on the Kree warlord’s bed.

Hands and not-hands touching--

“NO.”

Finally something cracked in the dreamscape, and he was able to push himself free. 

His eyes shot open.

Trying to move revealed he was not bound: he was on his back, hands free, but his whole body was lethargic and slow, from whatever the’d given him to sleep. 

He was in a cage. It had transparent walls and was just big enough to lie down and stand up in. There was nothing in the box, only the floor, ceiling, and four transparent sides. 

His insides seized up – another box. He was in another box. But the panic didn’t quite escape him, bubbling up and then subsiding back to a normal heart rate and he could breathe again. 

Then he wished it hadn’t, since rationally inspecting his surroundings proved he was still in a box.

He wasn’t naked anymore, and apparently someone had dressed him in Jotnar garb, such as it was: some sort of animal pelt kilt, arm bands, and a golden torque around his neck. Fortunately it was removable, so he yanked the jewelry off and hurled it to the floor.

The box however appeared solid. The sides looked like glass but plainly were not, as they didn’t so much as quiver when he hit them. While he didn’t think he was at his full strength, he had the disheartening feeling that wasn’t going to matter.

He was inspecting the corners, looking for weakness, when he sensed an approach and turned. It was the same female, Carina. 

“You’re awake,” she observed. “You’re not supposed to be awake.” 

He very nearly started to demand that she let him go, but held it back, deciding a more subtle approach might work better. He needed information. His voice was painfully hoarse as he tried to speak, and he had to clear his throat to get the words out. “And why is that?” 

She looked surprised – perhaps no one had ever asked that before. “Because Master Tivan wishes it. And I think it is easier on the collection.”

“Collection? I remember you used that word before. What does it mean? This is a prison?”

“Master Taneleer Tivan collects unique beings from all over the universe for preservation,” she said, by rote. 

He remembered a fragment of lore, from his studies on the outer worlds and beings the Aesir should be familiar with. 

He said it softly, with horrific realization, “The Collector.” 

Carina nodded in agreement with slow grace. 

He looked around, at the other cells, stretching as far as he could see into the dimness, above and below, and let out a bark of disbelieving laughter. “This is ever so much worse than I imagined.” 

“It is a great honor,” she said. “For him to think you are special. You will never know disease or death, or--”

“I’m not special,” he interrupted. “I know what I am.” He held out his hands, regarding his blue skin with loathing, wishing he could shift, but his powers wouldn’t come to his call. “Not unique.” 

Her eyes flared in surprise. “Are there so many hybrids of your type then? Master Tivan did not think so. But... it is time to sleep.” 

“No, wait!” he said urgently as she stepped closer to the cell. “What do you mean ‘hybrid?’ I’m not a hybrid anything. A Jotunn, a freakishly small Frost Giant, but that’s all.” 

She shook her head, confused. “No, Master Tivan had me catalogue you as a Jotunn-Aesir hybrid. That is what you are. You will be well cared for,” she promised and her hand waved in front of his cell. Immediately he tasted something metallic and sour at the back of his throat as the glass box filled with gas. 

“No, don’t--” he protested. “Wait, please – I’m not –”

But he couldn’t finish, the words tangling on his tongue as the gas made him dizzy. He wasn’t a hybrid. That was impossible. Frost Giant and Aesir? During the war? Never. How could that happen anyway, Laufey was too large, and he would never touch an Aesir female, that was absurd…

Unless… Was Laufey even his father? 

Was that yet another lie? Another lie within the lie. More lies… more….

* * *

The dreams were jagged and sharp, cutting him and switching quickly, but again he became aware that he was dreaming, and couldn’t escape. 

In them he killed Laufey, sometimes Laufey killed him, sometimes he and Laufey together laid waste to Asgard. Sometimes Laufey gave him to the Kree as a slave. Sometimes it was Odin or Thor, looking at him with cold blue eyes.

The collar pinched his neck, and a heavy body pressed him into the mattress, and always hands, touching. Invading. 

_No, no, no, this isn’t real, this is a nightmare, I can wake up, I have to wake up… _

But it didn’t end, shifting into falling into the void, screaming as it tore him apart.

In reality he’d forced a way out, using every fragment of power and strength he had. But in this nightmare, there was no escape. Only falling, terror, pain, and darkness.

Until there was a distant voice, soft but it attracted his attention because it was new. Something different in the void calling to him:

_… Are you hearink me? You must be listenink to me, comrade. Find me, and I will help you..._

The more Loki listened, the more distinct the voice became.

… _Good. Da. Now calm yourself… be hearink my voice. You are only one hearing me, so you must calm yourself… focus… Da, it is like that…_

The terror faded away, he was no longer falling, but seemed to be floating in a starry empty sky.

“Who are you?” 

“_I am Cosmo. Also prisoner of Collector. It is good to be meetink you, Loki.” _

Feeling his faculties returning to him, Loki realized, “You’re telepathic.” 

“_Da. Here in this place, it is difficult to speak outside cell. But you are strong, and I am strong, so we are findink each other.”_

_“_Where are you?” 

“_For that, you must open your eyes_.” 

“I can’t. I can’t wake up. It won’t stop, I can’t--” his voice quivered, broke, and all he felt was despair at being trapped here forever. 

And Cosmo’s mental voice became gentle. “_It has stopped, yes? Wake up, Comrade.”_

So Loki took a moment to gather himself, and opened his eyes.

He was on his back, staring up at the roof of his cell. His body felt little better than when he’d woken up after the real void: weak and wrung-out, as if his nightmare struggles had been days of fighting hand-to-hand.

Trying to rise proved futile, so he stayed still, waiting to wake more fully and his strength trickle back. 

A ‘voice’ touched his mind, “_Comrade Loki? How do you fare?”_

Loki focused his thoughts to return, “_Awake. Exhausted.”_

_“Rest_,” Cosmo urged. “_We go nowhere, Comrade, until you are strong_.”

That was a depressing thought. He hadn’t felt strong in what felt like an eternity. Since he’d fallen in the Void. Since that moment the Jotunn had seized his wrist and his universe had turned inside out.

But then he let out a bitter laugh. He’d always been weaker than Thor. His blood had betrayed him, before he knew what he was. 

Except, Carina had said the Collector thought he was half-Aesir. And that still didn’t make any sense. 

To distract himself from that irresolvable puzzle, he forced himself to turn over and pushed himself more upright. From there he could look in the direction of Cosmo’s mental voice. 

There was… a large duck wearing clothes? Loki blinked, sure he was hallucinating. But no, there was a duck in that other cell, wearing clothes. Its eyes were closed. 

There was a mental laugh. “_No. Not him. He sleeps deeply. Below and right of him.” _

Loki’s wandering gaze took in the other cells – creatures, plants, and humanoids. All seemed to be asleep, or drowsy at best.

The sight made him want to vomit, knowing that was his future. To be kept in this box for eternity. 

“_Here,” _Cosmo prompted, and Loki focused again, shaking his head once. The drugged gas was still affecting him, though he was awake. 

There was another box with a brown hound in it, wearing some kind of suit. And unlike the others, the hound was alert at the front wall, and looked straight back at Loki. His tail wagged. 

“_Da, it is I, Cosmo.” _

“You’re a hound? There's a duck wearing clothes, and I'm talking to a dog. I have gone mad.” Loki let himself fall back to the floor. 

“_Cosmo is product of great Soviet science, who gave Cosmo telepathy and intelligence. Cosmo is alone in universe, Comrade.” _

Loki heard the rest, though Cosmo was kind enough not to explicitly send it: _and so are you. _

That was true enough. Hound or not, it was not as if Loki had a lot of choice, and Cosmo had the benefit of being awake.

He pushed himself upright again, bracing himself on the glass wall, sitting cross-legged so he could see Cosmo. “_How do we escape this Helheim, Cosmo?” _

“_That I have no knowink,” _Cosmo said, tail going still and ears drooping. “_Until you, there was no touchink any of these minds. Cage---” _he nosed the transparent wall in front of him, “_and gas, keep prisoners weak. Most sleep. Need no food. Time is strange. Cosmo should be old dog, but is same vigor as first launch day.” _

Loki rested a hand on the cage wall, feeling the tingle in it. “_Some sort of stasis warping field, then. I may be able to do something with it, when I’ve recovered_.” Which was, no doubt, what the gas was for-- to ensure the prisoners didn't recover. “_How are you and I awake_?” 

“_You because you are new and you fight.”_

Loki scoffed at that. He didn’t fight. He hadn’t fought, he hadn’t wanted to do anything but die since those Kree had found him. The only reason he was still alive was the general had taken a ... personal interest when he'd discovered Loki wasn't Xandarian at all. 

_“Comrade Loki,” _Cosmo intervened,_ “Your heart is fightink strong, even in sleep. Mind is weary and troubled, much have you been endurink, but you are strong. Have no doubt in this_.” 

_“All right.” _Loki had to accept what the telepath said, because wouldn’t a telepath know these things? It didn’t quite explain how he couldn’t bring himself to care; he knew he should be angry at anyone daring to tell him his heart or mind, but it seemed rather useless to complain about. “_So why not you?” _

“_Carina is likink me_,” Cosmo answered. “_She is not beink strong enough to hear me, but soft-hearted she is, for such a place. He is cruel to her, and she comes to me, keeps gas low. She gave me blanket and water bowl_.”

“Good to know.” He ran fingers through his hair, rubbing his head, wishing he didn’t feel so stupid and slow. There had to be a way out of here. He would not stay a prisoner.

But he’d promised himself that before and been taught that it was a lie. 

His fingers touched his neck, the phantom weight of the metal collar still there, still ready to tighten and strangle him, or blaze with electricity to light up his every nerve with pain.

He pressed the heels of his hands to his forehead and closed his eyes. 

He must have dozed off, because he didn’t notice anyone approaching until the light shifted enough to wake him. He pulled his eyelids open to find Carina watching him. 

“You do not sleep?” she asked. “You should sleep. It will make your stay more…” she stopped, unable to say ‘pleasant’ and finally finished with “tolerable.” 

He shook his head negative. “I have such bad dreams,” he said hoarsely, wishing it was a more deliberate ploy and less the truth. “And I cannot awaken quickly, so they don’t stop...” 

Her expression drew together in worry, and she glanced over her shoulder. “I could put in more gas..” she offered hesitantly.

“No, no, please,” he put his hand flat on the glass wall, shocked by the blue skin and dark nails, as if it was someone else’s hand. Then he shook his head, trying to clear it of the irrelevancy. “Unless you can put in enough to kill me?” he asked hopefully.

Her eyes widened and her hand went to her throat in shock. “Kill you?” she whispered. “No, no, I can’t.” 

“Please,” he said. “I will go mad in here, trapped in a box again. I would rather be dead.” 

“Master Tivan would be very angry,” she whispered, shaking her head in obvious terror. “He would kill me or put me in a box, too.” 

_Damn it. How to get around her fear? I need to talk her to my side, but how? _

The memory of Volstagg’s teasing voice asking, _“Silvertongue turned to lead?”_ made him flinch in shame. Indeed, it had_. _

Carina noticed a change in the lighting and her head shot up in fear. “Visitors,” she hissed and hurried away. 

“Carina!” he called after her, but she was gone. 

He slammed the wall with his hand, quick rise of temper washing away the weakness and he felt more alert afterward. He started to inspect the cell, seeking a gap which he might use his strength or flicker of power to wedge it open. 

At first he thought it was a figment of his memory and imagination, seeing the large bulky figure with the reddish hair. He stopped to stare as the distant shape, distorted through several layers of cell walls and shadows, moved past. It looked like Volstagg. 

A dim light fell on the moving shape below, and his breath caught. It was Volstagg, and the shine of metal and slender figure next to him was Sif. 

Volstagg and Sif were here. Did they know he was here, too? They must, surely. They were negotiating for his release it had to be? 

He pressed against the wall, staring at the gathering below nearly out of sight. Volstagg and Sif, the pink-skin of Carina, and the white hair of Tivan spoke quietly and then the two Asgardians turned to go the way they’d come. They didn’t glance his way. 

They didn’t know he was here.

“SIF! VOLSTAGG!” he yelled, and pounded on the wall of his cell, trying to get their attention. “Sif! Volstagg! VOLSTAGG!!! SIF!” he was yelling, screaming, pounding at the wall as they passed out of his sight. 

Long after they must be gone, he pounded at the wall and screamed after them, “NO, CURSE YOU ALL! SIF, VOLSTAGG!!” 

Tivan approached down the main walkway, looking irritated. Loki fell silent as Tivan stopped right in front of his cell. 

“Let me out of here, you bastard son of a whore,” Loki snarled. “Or I will personally tear your flesh from your bones and feed it to bilgesnipes.” 

Tivan’s annoyed look went flat, then he called, “Carina!”

“Master?” She hurried to join him. 

“This specimen is awake. When it’s asleep,” his lips curled upward in a faint dark amusement, “seal the collar piece around its neck. I dislike that it was able to remove it.” 

She bobbed her head anxiously. “Yes, Master. As you wish.” 

“No, wait!” Loki blurted, panic rising in his throat, as she darted forward to the controls near the bottom.

This time the gas was so thick it was visible as it billowed up in the cube. “No,” he whispered in useless protest, holding his breath so he didn’t breathe it in. 

Tivan moved closer to the glass to meet Loki’s eyes. “You belong to me,” he stated flatly. “Forever. Loki of Asgard.” 

Loki swayed, shaking his head in denial. “I will have your head,” he whispered. “Someday. I swear.” 

His knees folded beneath him, thumping to the floor, and his shoulder hit the wall. As the swaying dizziness turned dark, he had time to realize that Tivan knew who he was. 


	2. Chapter 2

His nightmares were, at first, full of calling after Sif and Volstagg, who didn’t hear him, and trying to run after them, but not catching up to them. 

Sif and Volstagg became Thor, instead, looking at him before turning away, leaving him in the cell. And no matter how Loki pleaded for him to come back, Thor didn’t. Odin and Frigga were worse, ignoring him, until he was crying that he was sorry. 

The glass box shrank down on him, crushing him, stealing his breath, and his friends and family stood near and did nothing.

Then they were gone and the box became his Kree master holding him down.

“_You are dreamink, Comrade Loki,” _a familiar voice whispered from far away.

Loki seized on the voice, dragging himself out of the nightmare again. Waking was painful and slow, dragging himself piece by piece from one darkness to another. When he opened his eyes to the now familiar confines of his glass box, he couldn’t move anything but his eyes for a long time. Lifting his hand took hours (days, weeks, years?) how could he know? His sense of time was shredded in this place. 

His hand fell on the collar at his neck, and he shuddered. His fingers felt for a clasp, but there was none-- it seemed to be all one smooth metal piece. Digging his fingers into his neck beneath the gold, he tried to pull it off, but all he did was bruise his throat with the frantic tugging.

He let his hand fall again, weary and nauseated. Collared again. A slave again as if he'd never managed to escape the Kree ship at all. 

“_Comrade Loki?” _Cosmo asked, mental voice sounding worried._ “How do you fare?”_

_“I’m dead,” _he realized. _“I died in the void. This is Helheim, is it not? I am here to be punished. This will never end, because it can’t. This is my eternity, to suffer torment until the end of time.” _

_“NO,” _Cosmo said urgently, his mental voice stronger than before. “_You must not falter, comrade. This is place for escapink, not stayink_.”

“_Go away, dog. Leave me be. You think I don’t know what you’re doing? Offering me false hope, when there is none_.” 

“_There is, together we are beink strong,” _Cosmo coaxed. “_You can find a way to freedom.” _He turned over, away from that wall, but of course that did nothing to block Cosmo’s telepathic connection to him. “_This is not you. This is despair. Surrender. You are not one to surrender.” _

A bitter laugh escaped Loki’s throat. _“You know nothing about me. I did surrender; I chose death, and for my folly, I have been tortured, enslaved, shamed, and now imprisoned. And there is no escape, not for you, not for me, not for anyone. Leave me be, and I can go mad in peace.” _

_“Were you not promisink Tivan revenge_?” Cosmo asked.

Of course the dog didn’t listen. Now that he had a mental friend, he seemed to be unable to shut up. Unwillingly, it made him think of Thor, another one who liked talking more than listening. 

_Ah, Thor, at least you are free. You can be king, bed your mortal wench, and live happily with your hammer and the knowledge your brother was a monster all along and now is conveniently dead. _

_Thor gets everything, I get nothing. Real prince, fake prince. Real parents, fake-- _

_I have parents, somewhere, and my pretend parents lied about them. Maybe one was Laufey, but maybe that was a lie. Who were they? _

Cosmo asked, slipping into his mental discussion_, “Are you wantink to know truth? Only escapink here will give you that.” _

He sent back sharply, _“Don’t try to manipulate me, dog. I was Loki Silvertongue before your ancestors were fetching sticks.”_

Cosmo was incensed by that. _“Cosmo is more than dog. Cosmo--” _he stopped abruptly. “_Cosmo is realizink you change topic. You want truth, yes?”_

_“I’m the prince of lies, that’s what they call me. I don’t need the truth,” _he said dismissively. 

But of course, that was itself a lie. He wanted the truth. He wanted to look his “mother” and “father” in the eye and demand they tell him everything. And then he wanted to lay waste to Asgard, punish it, purify it… He would avenge the slights, the lies, the favoritism, the condemnation, the hatred. He didn’t want to rule it anymore; no, he wanted it destroyed.

His anger rekindled a flame to burn away the despair, warm and comforting with the promise of his vengeance. They had dismissed him and abandoned him – and for that, he would burn them all. 

He opened his eyes, feeling ready. It was time to go to work. 

* * *

It was no easy task, he discovered. He didn’t want to attract Carina or Tivan’s attention that he was awake, so he had to test his cell delicately. Nor was he able to call seidr, even after an effort that Cosmo had to help support telepathically. 

But it was all for nothing. The cell was designed to house creatures of great physical strength. Worse, the time stasis field it produced, though weak, was enough to keep other elemental forces outside its bubble, so he couldn’t reach seidr. 

He slumped against the wall in defeat. His self-healing was fighting the gas, but it was an effort, and he was tired.

“_I can find no gaps_,” he sent to Cosmo. “_I need a gap, and there is none_.” 

_“Perhaps Carina can give one to us_,” Cosmo returned. "_She comes_."

It was enough warning that Loki lifted his head to see her coming toward him. She regarded him, a bit alarmed. “How are you awake?” 

“You said I was half-Aesir. And both they and Jotnar are strong. I’m surprised you’re surprised. This cell was not designed to hold one from the upper Realms.” 

She shook her head in soft pity. “The sleep is for you. You should embrace it. There is no leaving this place.” 

“There would be, if you opened the door.” 

She took a step back. “No!”

“You could come with me. I can protect you,” he offered. 

She shook her head in disbelief. “Against Master Tivan? You can’t. You don’t know who-- what – he is.” 

“I know enough. I heard of the Collector in my lore studies in Asgard. I know he’s older than I am, but Asgard refuses him entry to the upper Realms.”

Her lips parted, temptation in her eyes. “Asgard? It is so powerful? Is that true?” 

“Let me out and I am powerful. And Odin Allfather is my father.” He managed not to choke on the falsehood. “The Collector is committing an act of war, holding me here. Why do you think he didn’t tell Lady Sif and Volstagg of my presence? He knows the wrath of Asgard will fall on him as soon as the Allfather knows this has happened.” 

He spun the lies, easily. Odin Allfather obviously didn’t care about Loki, or he’d have sent help long before, but Loki ignored that truth for what _should have been. _Loki would forgive a great deal if anyone had come for him, but when nobody came, he knew they never really cared. They’d been glad he was gone. There was so much less to explain, so much more convenient with him gone. His suffering was of no matter to anyone.

So he said what he wished would happen, instead: Odin and Thor and the Einharjar falling on Knowhere and this pit of hell with all the wrath of a god. 

“Carina!”

Her dark pink skin blanched at the call and she whipped around as Tivan came into sight.

“Why are you speaking to the specimen?” he demanded. “Do you seek to betray me?” 

She backed against Loki’s cell. “No, Master, no. I would never--” 

Tivan seized her around the neck and lifted her up. He wasn’t particularly large, but he exhibited no effort at lifting the Kylarian off the ground. She clawed futilely at his arm, gasping, “Please...”

“Do you wish to share the cell of your predecessor, Carina?” Tivan threatened.

She shook her head as much as she could, in desperation, eyes bugging out in desperation and lack of breath. 

He threw her to the ground. “You will obey or you will be replaced.” 

“Yes, Master. I will, Master.” 

“Go,” he waved a hand. “You disgust me, cowering on the floor. Ready yourself in my chamber.”

She scurried away, and Tivan turned to Loki. His expression was still cold, and now he radiated menace. “Do you think you know misery, specimen? You think being a slave of the Kree or the Ravagers was worse than this gentle captivity, so you seek to resist my generosity?”

Loki refused to be cowed, moving up to the wall. “I resist you. Everything you do to me, I will repay twice over. So think well, Taneleer Tivan, before you offend me.” 

Tivan sneered at him. “You think I have not been threatened before, by creatures greater than you? And they now reside helpless in my collection.” 

“Because you are a coward,” Loki taunted. “You torment lesser beings because you are just as small and just as petty. A thousand thousand lifetimes and this,” he waved his hand, lip curled in scorn, “is what you do with it. You are _pathetic_.”

“Yet who is the captive, Loki of Knowhere?” Tivan returned, less angered than Loki had hoped. He gestured, opening a holographic control, and doing something to it. Loki watched avidly, hoping he could figure a way to access it himself. 

But the controls vanished, and Tivan gave a small triumphant smirk. “I have another Jotunn here, full blood, and it grows sickly in the heat. I wonder how you will fare, hybrid, with your frost giant skin?”

He turned and walked away. 

"Vile cretin!” Loki called after him. “I will wipe you from existence!”

Tivan didn’t turn, only waved a hand in farewell as he moved out of sight.

Loki slammed the wall with both hands in a frustrated burst of temper. “I will get out of here!” he yelled. “You can’t hold me forever!” 

He turned and kicked the opposite wall, with as much force as he could, and still managed to only bruise his foot. “Curse him.” 

Standing in the center, he let out a breath, and tried to loosen the tension gripping his body, figuring there was no sense tiring himself before anything had started.

But it would. Already the air was perceptibly warmer. 

He looked at his blue-skin hands, and clenched them into fists, trying to force himself to change back to his Aesir form. He could do this; the stasis field could not prevent something so intrinsic to his nature, he would not allow it. If his self-healing worked, then so should this.

He closed his eyes and sought inward, for his core. He was more alert now, physically stronger, he could sense his own power; He remembered what it felt like when the change had flowed back over him from Jotunn to Aesir. It had been subconscious, once awakened by that assault on Jotunheim. He hadn’t _wanted _to do it, but when he’d held the Casket, it had happened anyway, and then he’d changed back to Aesir with scarcely effort at all. 

But this was effort. As if he was trying to consciously change each cell, and nothing he tried was enough. The field passing through the cell was too strong, restricting even this innate power. 

Opening his eyes again, he had to shift his feet since standing in one place as long as he had was becoming uncomfortably hot.

“_Comrade?” _Cosmo sent, seeming worried. 

Loki moved to the front to look at the dog. “_I can’t shift into my Aesir form. The beasts of Jotunheim do poorly away from their ice. Unfortunately it is turning quite tropical in here.” _

Cosmo hesitated before telling him, “_You are speakink poorly of yourself; there is no need.” _

_“I know what I am. Lying to myself changes nothing.”_

_“But it is lyink,” _Cosmo insisted. “_And will be makink you weak. You must desire to live, Comrade Loki.”_

_“Must I?” _Loki returned in rather sour humor. “_Why? It would be a relief to me, and there is no one in the universe to grieve my end.” _

_“Cosmo would.” _

Loki looked down and Cosmo was at the front of his own cage, looking back at him. Soft brown eyes met his, and the droopy ears and unmoving tail seemed sad. Cosmo added, “_I am needink you_.”

Loki’s lips parted in an automatic attempt to reject that with scorn, but he didn’t verbalize it because he could feel that Cosmo meant it truthfully. He’d been alone, and now, with Loki, he wasn’t alone anymore. 

It was an odd feeling to be needed.

He wanted to laugh: his so-called family had forgotten him, but this hound would miss him if he died.

He tried to dampen his lips, but there was no moisture. He swallowed, and replied, attempting for some levity_; “Fine, make me feel bad about dying. Just what I need with the temperature turned up hot enough to bake bread in here.” _

_“_H_e will not let you die, so you must endure,” _Cosmo answered. “_I am with you.” _

“That…_ makes me feel better.”_

_“Good. Rest.”_

He tried. But as the temperature increased, sitting meant too much exposure of his skin to the hot floor and the warming sides of the cage. Eventually the best solution seemed to be to stand on the fur piece that had wrapped his hips. That left him naked, but he cared about that a lot less than he cared about burning his feet. 

The cage grew hotter, pulling his energy. He’d thought the blue monster skin was horrifying before, but in the heat it turned a worse shade of pale grey on the back of his hands, like a revenant. 

But since the Frost Giants were still an immortal race of the outer Realms, he also healed the damage, and for a little while he could tolerate it: able to stand and feel terrible but aware. 

But the delicate equilibrium could not last and finally shattered. Dizziness struck and his balance betrayed him, so he fell against the cage wall. Flinching away from the hot surface, he stepped unprotected to the floor and it burned his foot. Swearing, he tried to get back on the impromptu mat, but light-headed, he couldn’t find it for several seconds. 

Head swimming, surroundings fading to darkness at the edges, he put a hand carelessly against the wall again. He fell to his knees, and had to stay there, bare knees feeling scalded but at least he had his balance. He stayed there, swaying, trying to gather enough energy to stand again. 

“_Comrade Loki?” _Cosmo asked. His telepathic voice sounded more distant, and Loki knew it would fade all together as Loki’s strength drained away.

“_I will never eat roasted meat again,” _Loki returned. “_Or bread. Nothing cooked in an oven. Perhaps only … fruit ices. Yes, I like that. I will eat nothing but fruit ices...” _

He drifted into happy imaginings of fruit ices in chilled cups, eaten by the river in Asgard. 

No, that would never happen would it? The thought made a sob rise in his throat, but there was no spare liquid for crying, so his eyes stayed dry. 

That sort of longing was base sentimentality. He was done with that weakness. Anger was all that they’d left him.

If he was king there again, he could eat all the fruit ice in the garden he wanted. He could use the Casket – wait, could he? Where was it? Had stupid Thor dropped it into the void, too? Because Loki hadn’t recovered it in his fall, that was certain… 

At least the void hadn’t been too warm. That was a benefit he hadn’t appreciated nearly enough. 

The pain in his knees pulled him back to alertness, and he opened his eyes blearily, seeking the fur on the ground. 

His skin was so tight, it was hard to move as he had to lean down and reach out to grab one corner and pull it nearer. Shifting his weight and peeling his knees away from the hot floor made him hiss with the pain, but as soon as he’d sat on the small protection and pulled up his legs, he felt a bit better.

He pondered getting back up to his feet, but that seemed too much effort for too little reward. Maybe later. 

He closed his eyes, not intending to sleep, but blanked out. When he was aware again, the cramping in his muscles told him that he’d not moved in quite awhile. Did it matter how long? No, not really. There was nowhere to go. 

It took a moment to realize there was someone at the front of the cage. He turned his head to the right to see Carina. 

“What?” he said and could say nothing more as the heat rushed into his mouth, parching his throat.

Carina’s expression seemed drawn with distress, almost frantic, as she looked at him with wide eyes and parted lips. “Will you die?” she blurted.

He gave a shrug, pulling his skin tight. But she didn’t have time to speak again before some sound spooked her and she hurried away. She was growing more desperate. Which Loki hoped would help his situation though he couldn’t connect that thought to anything else. 

Everything hurt, from his aching bones to the dry, hot skin. He could see his arms, grayish skin starting to crack, fragmenting before his eyes. He wondered idly if the skin would peel off and the muscles start to cook in this heat. Tivan was probably right; that was going to hurt a lot more than what the Kree and the slavers had done to him, and Cosmo was also right, that even that wouldn’t kill him.

Stupid immortality and healing, what was it good for, except torture? Forcing him to linger here? What was the point of it all? He wanted to demand answers of the Norns, but they weren’t listening. 

His face hurt. His lips hurt touching together – the more delicate skin was blistered. The inside of his nose and throat felt scoured. The golden collar around his neck was searing itself into his flesh.

The only escape was into daydreams and darkness, letting his mind slip away from the pain.

Cosmo’s voice came to him, poking at him from a great distance, but eventually Loki noticed. “_Loki? Comrade Loki? Loki, please, wake up, you need to hear me…”_

Loki pulled his eyes open, like sand scraping them, and found himself curled up on the floor. His shoulder, arm, and part of his head were burning.

He lifted his head away, but that was little improvement, so he let it fall back down, in a slightly different spot. The touch made him flinch and hiss. 

“_Loki, there are visitors,” _Cosmo said. “_I have never felt Tivan so excited about acquisition before. You need to watch and see if you understand what is happenink.” _

He wanted faintly to laugh at Cosmo’s wish for him to move at all. “_Can’t_.” 

“_You can. Must. Concentrate on what I am seeink. Is most important_.” 

Loki closed his eyes again, hoping he’d sink back into unconsciousness away from knowing he was slowly burning alive. But instead, he felt a tugging from Cosmo and gave into the insistent demand that he pay attention. 

Ghostly images from a vision not his own and caught through a mist of distance, appeared. 

Tivan, Carina – and two others: a green-skinned woman, and an Aesir? No, clearly not when he dropped the bauble in his hand, he had to be some kind of mortal. A pale Xandarian, perhaps. 

There were others now lingering behind, harder to see: A small thing .. an animal? It looked familiar. A Midgardian animal, Loki had seen it in the Fauna of Midgard texts, but his mind would not bring him the name. A bear? A type of bear, yes, with the markings - panda? But this one was small and clothed, and was… talking? That was odd, though it seemed rather less strange now that he’d met Cosmo. 

_Really, for living my whole life in Asgard and considering myself well-learned in the lore of other worlds, I am astonishingly ignorant of the variety of intelligent animals in the universe… _

Cosmo interrupted his wandering thoughts, _“I thank you, Comrade, but you need to focus_.” 

Right. The meeting. _Oh look, a walking tree. _He'd met one once, long ago. Or seen one? He couldn't recall. But the name had been Groot. Individual or species? And in that kind, did it matter? Curious to see one away from its homeworld, which Loki was pretty sure was another galaxy altogether.

He hated the greedy way Tivan looked at the Groot and wished he could conjure something to send Tivan away from the Groot. 

But not even the lure of a Groot distracted Tivan from whatever the new people had brought to him. 

Loki could hear no words, but didn't need them after watching Tivan open the silver ball for the brilliant violet light of the glowing stone inside. Violet meant power.

“_An Infinity Gem. These fools brought Tivan an Infinity Gem, are they mad_?” 

“_What is that?” _Cosmo asked.

_“It’s something that means we say farewell to escape as it flies away in terror from this place,” _Loki answered heavily. Once Tivan had the Gem, and the unlimited power it offered, how could they escape? 

But as he watched through Cosmo’s eyes it became clear that he wasn’t the only one who thought so. 

Carina approached the Gem, while Tivan was distracted. She was going to try to take it. A young mortal creature was going to touch the Power Gem, bare-handed.

The cry tore from Loki’s throat, “CARINA, NO!” 

But she didn’t hear him and reached out....

Violet-edge fire engulfed her and she screamed until she was completely obliterated. A concussive wave exploded outward. 

The walls of Loki’s cage shattered, and he had time to feel the blessedly cool air in its wake before the darkness fell on him. 

* * *


	3. Chapter 3

There was something on his cheek. Something wet and repetitive.

Even in his waking stupor, that was irritating and he lifted a hand to push it away. But the hand didn’t get there, so it happened again: a damp touch on his cheek, forceful enough to rock his head. Was something _licking _him?

“_Wake, Comrade Loki. You need to wake.” _

He opened his eyes, finding himself eye to eye with the gentle brown eyes of Cosmo a handspan away. Cosmo licked his cheek, clearly amused to do it again. “_Wake, friend. We must be goink.”_

Loki pushed himself up on one elbow, and Cosmo nudged himself under Loki’s other arm to help him sit up. For a moment, Loki rested there, hanging onto the small but solid body of the dog.

Everything ached, but at least that incredible pain of his own flesh cooking had stopped. There were spots on his shoulder, hands, and feet, raw places on his skin that burned against the air or when he tried to move, but they were smaller.

And, better, he could feel seidr again. He could only reach a few thin threads but it was enough. He closed his eyes and shifted to Aesir. The burns and damage remained but the rest of his skin returned to normal, away from that wretched gray tone.

Cosmo observed this, canting his head to the side curiously, but when Loki was done, all he said in response was, “_Scent same. Hiding skin will be less obvious.” _Loki wanted to object that this was his real skin, not hiding, but Cosmo had no time for that. He nudged Loki’s leg with his nose. “_Rise. We must be leavink. That will not have killed Tivan.” _

“I should go kill him now, while he’s weak,” Loki said.

“_But so are you. This is not beink good time.”_

_“_There may not be another time.”

“_Nyet. We must go.”_

Loki turned his eyes to look on the wreck of the Collection. Many of the cases were smashed, as his had been, and there others stirring from their gassed stupor. There were many escapees, but he didn’t know the resources Tivan might call upon to recapture his specimens, and it would plainly be better to be off this world before that happened.

Cosmo was right. Especially if Tivan wasn’t dead, he and Cosmo had to get going.

Pulling his feet beneath him and keeping a hand on Cosmo, he levered himself up. He swayed, body not nearly as recovered as he’d like, and bare feet twinging at the tender spots. He was still naked, and wanted to do something about that, but he’d probably fall over if he bent down to grab the wrap. It didn’t matter, he could get something elsewhere. Leaving needed to take priority.

But sensing the direction of Loki’s thoughts, Cosmo took the fur in his mouth and held it up to him, giving Loki his first smile in a while. Wrapping it around his hips, he wanted to summon real clothes or even the illusion of them, but that would have to wait until he was stronger.

Cosmo at his side, Loki limped out of that nightmarish place as swiftly as he could.

The noise and rushing of panicked people made his step hesitate as a reflexive fear curdled in his chest. But he did manage to pluck the belt knife off some fleeing bar patron, and he felt better with the handle in his hand.

He saw the Groot, and nearby his companions, and Loki hobbled closer to listen to their argument. They had the orb, he realized in shock and sudden hope.

They had the Power Gem. He needed to get it. In his thoughts, he directed, “_Cosmo, don’t let on what you can do, yet. We might need that surprise later.” _He tucked the knife at his back.

The green-skinned female was saying, “We have to bring this to the Nova Corps. There's a chance they can contain it.”

The panda replied, “Are you kidding me? We're _wanted _by the Nova Corps! Just give it to Ronan!”

The mortal male was incredulous, “So he can destroy the galaxy?”

Loki was glad the male thought that was a terrible idea, and so did the female. But she was alert to his approach, and spun around to confront him, blade out.

He tried to look weak, which wasn’t much of a ploy, and limped closer, with Cosmo tight at his side. “You were the ones in Tivan’s,” Loki said. “I don’t know what you did, but you freed us.”

She lowered the blade, frowning at him. “You were a prisoner in there?”

Loki nodded. “Yes.”

“What the hell was he doing to you? You look awful, man,” the mortal said.

“Roasting me alive,” He held out his arm to display the burn on the side, “for complaining about the comfort of my cell.”

The man made a disgusted face. ”That’s terrible.”

The female frowned, less taken in. “What do you want?”

He held out his hands. “You must have a ship. Please, let us help you, anything, But we need to get off this planet before Tivan recaptures us.”

“We don’t need help,” the panda retorted. “Not from a helpless whatever you are.”

The Groot cocked his head a bit and said, “_Were we not prisoners who needed to escape?” _

Loki glanced at him. “You were prisoners somewhere?”

The panda turned dark eyes at him, brushy eyebrows up high, “You know what Groot said?”

“Yes. I can’t speak it, but I understand it,” Loki said. Of course that was entirely due to his All-Tongues spell, but as long as it made him slightly more valuable to these people, he would use it.

“Well, that don’t mean nothing,” the panda muttered, “Lotsa people do.”

The green one gave Loki a narrowed suspicious look and then faced the mortal, “Peter, we can’t allow the- the stone to fall into Ronan’s hands. We have to get to your ship and deliver it to Nova.”

Loki stopped listening, feeling a familiar hum in his bones, shaking seidr and the ground in strange opposition. He snapped his gaze upward, not surprised to find a Kree landing craft.

“Kree,” he snapped, “There’s no more time.”

“Ronan,” the woman said in dismay.

Another male, a big shirtless brawler who reminded Loki a bit of Thor, stepped closer out from the shadows. “At last. At last! I shall meet my foe and destroy him.”

Peter demanded, “Drax! You called _Ronan_?”

Loki made the calculation: Drax was known to them, and since Loki needed to build up some trust, he stepped near. “I admire the quality of your enemy. May I join you?”

“_No, comrade, no, this is too dangerous--” _Cosmo objected strenuously in his head and barked aloud.

“Cosmo, quiet,” Loki ordered.

Drax glanced at him as he pulled his short swords. “You wish to fight Ronan?”

“No, I want to kill him. Well, all Kree, but I can start with him,” he returned, with a grim twist of his lips. And that was nothing but the truth. He would kill this Kree warlord and as many of his kind as he could for what they did to him. He pulled the knife out from his waistband at his back, and liked that it felt well-balanced in his hand.

“I will strike first,” Drax stated. “If there is any of left of him, you may attack.”

Loki opened his mouth to object to this high-handed assumption and say it would be better to fight together, but instead he heard another voice, drawling from the other direction, “Quill! Don't you move, boy!”

Cosmo warned, “_Ravagers.” _

Loki turned to see indeed a group of pirates, led by a Kree? _No, the other blue skinned mortal… _He frowned, aware that he knew this, but the information was not coming quickly to mind. _Centauran. I should have known immediately--_

His musings were cut short as Peter and the female exchanged a glance and darted across the street, to duck into the alley.

The Ravager shouted, “Don't you move! Get out of the way!” He and his people chased after, and Loki stepped aside, not wanting involved with a band of Ravagers as well. At least this one seemed uninterested in capturing random strangers and selling them into slavery.

_“We must go,” _Cosmo insisted. “_You are not yet strong enough to fight Kree warlord, and Tivan might yet be wakink.” _

_“This Drax is a friend of the others. Should he survive and we have fought together, he is my key to their ship and the Power Stone,” _Loki said. Then he grinned and flipped the knife. “_And I really want one of them dead.”_

Cosmo growled his disagreement with this, but it was too late anyway, as the Kree drop ship opened. Two minor Kree emerged and then the warlord, and Loki’s innards lurched unpleasantly at the sight of the war ink. He’d heard Ronan was a traditionalist, but the paint meant he’d performed the ritual sacrifice before donning his armor, and that meant no other Kree was powerful enough to tell him to stop.

But at least Loki knew how to fight a hammer wielder.

Drax bellowed, “Ronan the Accuser!”

Ronan strode to meet him, as tall as Loki himself, and powerfully built especially in his armor. “You are the one who transmitted the message?"

“You killed my wife. You killed my daughter!”

Loki grimaced. No wonder Drax was unhinged in his desire for revenge.

_"Comrade, trash panda is leavink!" _Cosmo warned mentally, and Loki glanced behind to see Rocket was heading for a mining pod to go after Quill and Gamora, while the Groot was trying to come with him.

But Loki had enough to worry about against the warlord. Drax was strong, but he was clearly no match for Ronan.

Then, Drax fell and Ronan had him by the throat. "I don't recall killing your family. I doubt I'll remember killing you, either."

Loki moved closer to intervene before it was too late. "I thought the Kree had moved on from such quaint fashions," he taunted.

Ronan turned his head to look at him. "Do not interfere or you will meet his fate."

Loki rolled his eyes and chuckled. "Does that work for you? Because it sounds stupid."

Ronan stood up to his full height, which was probably meant to be intimidating, especially as he gripped the handle of his war hammer. "Xandarian, you will pay for your insult with your insignificant life.”

Loki smirked. “Kree, always so arrogant for a minor race.” He twirled his blade. “I've fought better.”

"You have never fought me. And now you will die."

"You think too highly of yourself, Kree." He'd watched Ronan fight Drax enough to know where his weakness was - not that it was _large_, he was skilled and obviously enhanced strength making him more equal to an Aesir than most Kree - and launched his attack.

Careful spools of seidr cast the illusion for a frontal charge, while the real Loki slipped to the side. "Loki" disappeared in a flash of green light at the touch of the hammer, but Ronan was already out of position and Loki thrust the blade straight in his side.

Except his armor deflected the plain steel and Loki had to duck as Ronan's free hand swung at him. _Shit. _The knife was weak compared to his daggers, and he'd just blown his main chance.

"Sorcerer," Ronan sneered. "Only an honorless _dog _fights with magic."

"Dogs are a lot more honorable than you," Loki shot back, switching to his other hand to slash at Ronan's throat, as he spun past.

But Ronan took the blow on his shoulder instead, and the blade skittered across his armor again. Loki had to throw himself back to evade the hammer, and conjured a pathetic little flame to throw at Ronan to get some space. He barely flinched, sneering, and stomped forward again. Loki gave ground, diving to avoid the hammer, but found himself trapped against a low wall.

There was nowhere to go. He gathered himself to cast an illusion of himself rolling away as bait, but the illusion failed, uncast. The hammer was going to hit him. He was going to die.

He grabbed for seidr desperately to ward himself, knowing it was too little too late, but he didn't want to die.

His whole body was wrenched backward, feet off the ground, completely not his control. Was it the hammer, was it--

He slammed into the wall of the alley and collapsed to the ground. Confused, he pushed himself up, looking for Ronan, thinking he must've been hit somehow.

_"It was I, comrade_."

Loki didn't understand that at first and glanced at Cosmo. "_You're telekinetic, too_?"

Cosmo's mental voice was a bit sheepish. "_I would have told you_..."

_"Thank you. Now we can fight him_…"

_"Nyet_," Cosmo said,_ "he will kill you. Comrade, your body is still weak, and I can do little to stop him_."

"Now you die, Xandarian!" Ronan was heading for him, heavy hammer in his hand, but a voice suddenly split the empty alley on his comm device, which Loki wasn't sure he was hearing with his own ears or through Cosmo's. "_Ronan, it is done."_

Ronan stopped. "Pray to your gods we do not meet again, Xandarian," he called to Loki, then turned on his heel and strode to his ship.

"I don't have gods, and I'm not Xandarian, but other than that, we agree," Loki muttered, pushing himself up to his knees slowly. Cosmo came closer for Loki to rub his ears. "Thank you. We should see to our new friends."

Groot was tending to Drax who was finally stirring, and gave Loki a dark-eyed stare. "_You are a sorcerer?" _he asked.

"Among other things," Loki said, not wanting to admit how underpowered he was.

The whine of a mining pod announced someone's return and he wasn't too surprised to see Rocket climb out. He only took a moment to find the small group gathered, and come to them, stomping his little paws with great agitation.

"Blasted idiot. They're all idiots! Quill just got himself captured!" He glared up at Drax. "None of this ever would have happened if you two idiots didn't try to take on a frickin' army!"

Drax straightened, proud and offended by the blame, but Rocket mocked viciously, "Oh, boo-hoo-hoo. 'My wife and child are dead.'" Groot gasped, and even Loki was taken back by the viciousness of the mockery. But Rocket kept going. "Oh, I don't care if it's mean! Everybody's got dead people! That's no excuse to get everybody else dead along the way! Come on, Groot. Ronan has the stone."

So that was why Ronan had left. He'd gotten the stone from Gamora, and she was probably dead, as Loki doubted she would have given it up otherwise. The Kree having the Power Stone was bad, but at least the Collector didn't have it.

Rocket said, "The only chance we got is to get to the other side of the universe as fast as we can and maybe, just maybe, we'll be able to live full lives before that whack-job ever gets there."

Loki stood. "You have a ship? Cosmo and I still need off this planet."

But the Groot was having none of this. "_We should save them."_

"Save them? How?"

"_They are our friends," _Groot said.

"I know! but there's an army of Ravagers around them. And there's only two of us!"

Or perhaps she was still alive, after all. That changed the calculation. "Three," Loki declared and looked down at an insistent nudge at his leg. "Four."

Rocket looked up, squinting suspiciously. "You don't even know them."

"No," Loki agreed. "But I know Kree." His hand reached up to touch the collar around his neck and he held back the urge to vomit. But Rocket understood the gesture.

"I thought you were a prisoner of the Collector?" Rocket asked. "Where do the Kree come in?"

"Before that. They... found me. I managed to escape only to fall into Ravager hands who sold me to Tivan." And that elided a great deal of unpleasantness, which he was not going to think about. "So you see why I'm quite eager to get the hell off this planet. I don't want Ravagers _or _Kree to have the Power Stone."

"_You know what it is_?" Groot asked.

"Of course." He spread his hands. "Sorcerer."

"You're just a Xandarian, aren't you?" Rocket demanded, frowning at him curiously. "Or like Quill? An Earper?"

_Earper_? Loki wondered. He'd never heard of that. A colony of Xandar perhaps?

"No. Neither of those. Something else...." he thought about how to put it and his lips twisted bitterly, "something unique."

Black eyes in the mask markings gazed up at him. "Yeah, I get that."

Loki had the impression that Rocket truly did. "We should go. Quill and Gamora need our help," Loki pointed out.

Drax stood. "I will go with you, as well."

Rocket rolled his eyes. "Of course you will." He kicked the nearest clump of dirt and groused, "This way." As they walked he shot a look at Loki. "Maybe Quill's got a spare jumpsuit for you."

Loki had completely forgotten during the fight what he was -- wasn't -- wearing, and had to hope Rocket was right that he could change into something.

"Why?" Drax asked, and since he was wearing no tunic apparently by choice, perhaps his confusion was understandable. "You fought well without clothing."

Loki was startled by the unlooked for compliment, and huffed a laugh. "That? That was nothing. Wait til you see what I can do in my own armor."

It was going to take a little while to rebuild his energy to conjure his fighting leathers, but he decided then and there he was going to show Drax.

* * *

The _Milano _was a compact ship, with its common area and bunks on the lower level, as well as hatches to what he presumed were access to the engines, refresher station, and cargo area. He paused passing between the two orange bunks, attention caught by the small doll with the wild hair and big eyes. It was an alien he couldn't place.

Rocket yanked open a drawer to reveal a stash of clothing. "Quill's stuff. You can give it back later. Yeah, I know, it all stinks. Groot, c'mon." He scurried up the ladder at the end of the short corridor, and Groot and Drax followed. A few seconds later a rumble went through the ship, Loki could sense the engines cycle, and the ship lifted off so abruptly Loki had to grab a handhold on the bunk to keep his feet.

Loki found a dark grey tunic with long sleeves, enough to cover his burns, and black trousers that felt a little strange on his legs after so long without, but welcome all the same. Everything was loose on him, but he found a length of thin power conduit to use as a belt to keep the trousers up.

Cosmo watched, and Loki thought to ask. "Do you want me to take off your suit?"

Cosmo cocked his head, pondering, before he answered, "_Nyet. It is all I have left_."

Loki could understand that. He had his own mementos, though they were inaccessible in his dimensional pocket until he could conjure them out.

"Upper deck, then? We should plan."

Cosmo tilted his head. "_Cannot be makink ladder, Comrade Loki. I can float_\--"

"I can lift you," Loki said aloud, and silently added, "_Keep your abilities in reserve_."

Cosmo asked, "_You do not trust them?"_

_"Do you?" _Loki asked, more curious about that answer. Cosmo was the telepath; he should know.

Cosmo hesitated and Loki sensed his attention pointing elsewhere before it returned. "_They do genuinely wish to help their companions. But trust..." _He trailed off. "_They are hard people, comrade. Not... law-abiding."_

Loki snickered. "_I can live with that. But let's be careful, yes?_" He bent to clasp his hands firmly around Cosmo and lift him. He was just tall enough to be able to toss Cosmo onto the upper deck, with a bit of secretive assist from Cosmo's telekinetic ability, and follow him to the flight deck.

Rocket was in the forward left hand seat, Groot in the right, and Drax in the third behind, leaving Loki to stand in the middle and look out the wide front window at the clean starry blackness of space and the ships hovering outside.

"That's our target," Rocket said, jerking his snout toward the biggest. "Ravager ship. Armament is average for a ship its size. Can you pilot? Handle weapons?"

Loki glanced at the controls and shrugged. "I flew the Kree snubnose, this looks similar."

"Close enough." Rocket popped off the pilot's chair. "Get in. I've got a gun we can threaten them with," he told Loki with enthusiasm, "And get Gamora back. And Quill, I guess. Drax, I need your help."

Rocket rushed out, past Cosmo, and Drax dropped after him.

Loki eyed the Ravager ship as he sat down and said dryly, "I hope it's a really big gun."

"_It is all Rocket can build," _Groot replied.

Loki's snort of amusement became a full chuckle when Rocket's voice floated up to them, "I heard that!"

He familiarized himself with the controls, with some help from Cosmo who was likely plucking the information from Rocket, and tried not to be too curious what Rocket and Drax were doing, shuffling about below.

"Open the top hatch!" Rocket shouted, and Groot did so. Loki couldn't help but turn and look up, to see Drax, in an environment suit, harnessed to the top of the ship and wielding the largest pulse rifle Loki had ever seen.

Rocket tugged Loki out of the pilot's chair. "Out. Let's do this."

He sent the _Milano _into a direct confrontational heading with the bigger Ravager ship, flicked off a safety, and fired the forward missile at the ship.

"What are you doing?" Loki demanded. "Are you attacking them?"

"Getting their attention." He turned on the comm system. "Attention, idiots. The lunatic on top of this craft is holding a Hadron Enforcer. It's a weapon of my own design. If you don't hand over our companions now, he's gonna tear your ship a new one. A very big new one!"

He gave the threat with vicious delight, which Loki would've found engaging if they weren't in a much smaller ship, threatening violent Ravagers. "Are you mad?" he blurted.

Rocket showed teeth at him in a snarl before returning his attention to the comm. "I'm giving you to the count of five. Five... Four..."

"You need to give them more time than that! They haven't even acknowledged our hail!" Loki objected.

Rocket ignored him. "Three..."

The comm system crackled to life. "_Rocket, it's me, for Godsakes! We figured it out! We're fine!"_

Rocket leaned back, all at his ease now that disaster was averted. "Oh, hey, Quill. What's going on?"

"_Look, we talked with Yondu. We're gonna make a plan to get the Stone. Bring the Milano into the docking bay and I can explain."_

Loki frowned, and touched the comm on the chair arm. "Inside? Are you certain that is... wise?"

There was a pause and Quill said, "_Oh, right. New guy. Yondu and I go way back, it's okay. He gave me his word_."

"_Cosmo_?" Loki asked silently. '_Can you parse the Ravagers intent toward us?" _

"_Confused," _Cosmo answered.

"_Treachery?" _

"_Nyet."_

Rocket glanced at Groot, who met his eyes, and Rocket groaned. "Fine. This is stupid."

Which Loki had to agree with, but what choice did they really have? So the _Milano _flew into the cavernous docking bay, landing near a similar if less colorful small ship.

Rather to his surprise, both Quill and Gamora were waiting for them. They weren't alone, but the other pirates seemed not to show much interest as the ramp lowered.

They gathered in the common area.

"What the hell was that plan?" Quill demanded, striding up.

"His plan," Loki tilted his head toward Rocket, who was sitting on an overturned box, arms folded, not impressed by Quill's annoyance.

"Hey, you took my clothes!" Quill noticed.

"Yes," Loki admitted steadily. "I thank you for their use. I promise to return them when I find my own."

Quill looked distracted for a moment, as if he was going to object, then blinked and shook his head that it didn't matter. "Good, okay. Back to the "plan"." He mimed with both hands, the word heavily sarcastic. "You were gonna save us by blowing us up? How was that gonna work?"

"They were gonna turn you over to us," Rocket said.

"With a count of _five?" _Quill glared at him that it was the stupidest thing he'd ever heard.

Rocket looked ready to sputter some excuses and Loki decided to intervene. "If I may, we have more important matters to discuss."

"Yeah," Quill agreed and then frowned at him. "What's your name anyway?"

Loki hesitated, unsure if he should reveal the truth. He never had told the Kree or the Ravagers, keeping his identity to himself.

"_You must extend trust to gain it, Comrade," _Cosmo advised telepathically.

So Loki bit his lip and admitted, "I am Loki. This is Cosmo," he brushed the top of Cosmo's head.

"Loki?" Quill repeated and his gaze looked distant as if he'd heard the name before but couldn't place where, before shrugging. "Welcome aboard. I'm Peter Quill, sometimes known as Star-Lord."

None of the others recognized Loki's name, except Gamora, whose gaze sharpened on him immediately and her stance eased into battle mode. She had, apparently, heard something of him as something dangerous. It was rather laughable, considering how _not _dangerous he'd been for so long, but he carefully did not react to her increased threat. He was no danger to her or anyone else on the ship, no matter what she knew of him.

She didn't reveal to the others that she'd heard his name before, so he held his tongue as well.

She said, as if reminding herself, "What's important now is we get the Ravagers' army to help us save Xandar."

Rocket rolled his eyes. "So we can give the Stone to Yondu who's just gonna sell to somebody even worse?"

Quill waved a hand. "We'll figure that part out later."

Gamora looked at Loki again. "Why do you want to be involved?" It felt like a challenge, perhaps because she knew he was of Asgard and the affairs of lower Realms were usually not a concern to them.

So he shrugged and admitted, "I am not of Xandar, but no Kree should possess the Power Stone." He laid that card down so Quill and Gamora would also know he knew what it was. They might guess he wanted it for himself, but he was weakened, presented little threat, so it would not occur to them that he could take it.

"Which sounds great and all, but this ship and the Ravager ships can't even _touch _the _Dark Aster_," Rocket declared. "You know it. You're asking us to die, Quill."

"I guess I am," Quill admitted heavily and turned away.

Loki saw the division. The distrust between them. They barely knew each other. He could shatter their fragile camaraderie, break it apart, like tapping a piece of glass. It would be easy. He remembered a time he would've enjoyed setting them against each other just because he could.

But... he had to think ahead. He was on his own, and he needed allies, not more enemies.

So what he once would've broken, he needed to put together.

"Maybe not," he said, and found himself the focus of all their eyes. "If you can get me on the dreadnought, I have a key." He held out his palm and conjured a pale green flame. It was about all he could manage, weak as he was, but all of them stared at it, impressed.

"_He is a sorcerer," _Groot said.

"A sorcerer?" Rocket echoed. His dark eyes were instantly re-weighing their chances and tactics. "Well. Don't see too many of those around."

"Ronan will not be prepared for this," Loki said, closing his hand so the flame vanished.

Gamora added, "I know the _Dark Aster_. Loki and I can get to Ronan and the Stone, if we can get aboard."

"We can do this," Quill said. "We _have _to do this. Or Ronan destroys Xandar and who knows who's next."

Gamora lifted her chin. "I have lived all my life among enemies, I would rather die among friends."

"I have no intention of dying," Loki declared. "Nor are we friends yet. But I did not escape one Kree warlord, to stand by and watch another commit atrocity. I will go with you."

Cosmo barked once and thumped his tail. "_We both go, Comrade." _Loki rubbed his ears in apology, and added aloud, "And Cosmo, of course."

Drax stepped forward, arms folded across his broad chest. "I will fight by your side. And in the end, see my wife and daughter again."

Groot uncurled to stand. "_I agree." _

Rocket groaned but gave in. "Fine." He climbed up on the box. "See, here's me standing. Happy now?"

"I think we could not do it without you, Rocket," Loki offered. Of course it was the most base of flattery, but not a lie. Rocket gave him a look like he thought he was being mocked, but saw Loki wasn't smiling and kicked at the box.

"Well, yeah," he muttered, "That's true. All you jackasses wouldn't know what to do, if it weren't for me."

Quill set a quick hand on Rocket's shoulder. "Yeah. C'mon, Yondu's waiting for our plan. Let's do this."


	4. Chapter 4

Loki had his first close look at Yondu, Ravager clan captain. The others in his crew looked to be fairly typical of the breed -- not too bright criminal scum -- but Yondu himself seemed a little too clever for what he was doing. Which made him dangerous, and Loki knew he could show no weakness.

Yondu had a control-sail headpiece, though Loki didn't see what it controlled, and that also made him wary. Nor did he like the smell of the Ravager ship, an acrid familiar tang that reminded him of the other Ravager ship he'd been held on. 

Cosmo tucked himself close to Loki's legs. "_I am with you, Comrade," _he said telepathically, and Loki was able to take calm breaths and look levelly back at Yondu, as Gamora and Quill explained the plan.

"... And then, once we're aboard, Loki here is a sorcerer--" Quill said, and Yondu's gaze snapped to him, completely shutting Quill down with the intensity of his interest with Loki or sorcerers.

Yondu took two steps nearer to Loki, and Gamora's hand moved closer to her weapon. "Loki, hm?" Yondu said. "That's a ... famous name in these parts."

"Is it?" Loki returned, lifting his brows in mild curiosity. "Why is that? I've not been in this part of space that I can recall." It was a mystery in fact, since he had never given his captors his real name, so why was it known?

"It's an old story, ain't it?" Yondu returned. "Ancient gods. A place so rich the buildings are made of gold. An ageless king on a high throne. Sound familiar?" 

"You shouldn't believe _all _the stories," Loki replied, but his lips curled upward, knowing what was going to happen next. He'd seen it a hundred times, on a hundred worlds-- the local bully having to challenge the gods in their midst. Usually they had challenged Thor, and so Loki rather enjoyed it being directed at himself for a change.

"I'm just curious what's true," Yondu replied and whistled.

Loki was already moving, whipping his hand out to catch the arrow streaking for his head. It burned, but he clenched his jaw and held it until Yondu stopped whistling. His eyes widened, and the other Ravagers gasped and whispered.

"It wasn't gonna hurt ya," Yondu protested, as Loki stalked toward him, backing him against the wall, step by step. 

He narrowed his eyes and warned coldly, "If you launch this at me again, I will use it to rip out your throat. Do not challenge me, mortal." He dropped the arrow on the deck and turned, wondering if Yondu would attack again, to overcome the humiliation of being threatened on his own vessel.

But Yondu was wiser than that, brushing off his coat. "So you are him. Least I know this crazy plan's got a chance now. Everyone, to your stations. We got a battle to fight." 

Everyone turned to get going, even Quill, but Yondu called him back. "Hey, boy! Remember what you promised." He looked as if he meant to add more, glanced at Loki and added, "I meant it." 

"Right, Yondu. No problem," Quill waved and gathered up his crew. "Come on."

"What did he mean? What did you promise?" Rocket asked on the way. 

"_The stone," _Groot guessed. 

What else could Quill promise to motivate a pirate but treasure? Loki was not surprised.

"The stone?" Rocket repeated. "No way. You can't."

"We'll talk about this later," Quill said through gritted teeth. "Not here."

Once they were inside his ship, Quill turned to them and answered, "Yes, that's what I said. But of course, no, we're not gonna give it to him. I don't know, I was planning to give it to Nova Corps. They'd keep it safe. Safer than Yondu, anyway." He frowned at Loki. "Who are you anyway? 

Loki shrugged. "I am not who I was. That legend, that story, does not exist."

Quill gnawed on that, and focused on the important part. "But you do have powers?"

"Some. Not as many as I should, after Tivan. But enough." 

"All right. I'm going to call Nova. Hopefully one of the guys who arrested us will take my call. Rocket, prep your ship. All the extra power you can give it, we're gonna need it."

Rocket gave a giant grin of sharp teeth. "Yes!" He loped away, back down the ramp to pilot his own M-ship as part of their plan, while Quill scrambled up the ladder to the cockpit. Drax took a moment and then went after Quill, Groot following, leaving Loki, Gamora, and Cosmo in the common room. 

She opened a drawer beneath one of the bunks to pull a medical kit. "I can dress that hand for you." 

Once she reminded him, he could feel the burning pain along his palm from the arrow. "It will heal." He kept his hand folded around the injury, as it stung. 

"I'm sure. But I can help. We'll be going into battle soon." 

"_Comrade, allow her to help,' _Cosmo suggested. "_You will need all your strength." _

He rolled his eyes and sighed, but held out his hand, palm up. "Fine."

As she moved the small derma-regenerator across the raw and burnt flesh of his palm, he said, "You recognized my name, too."

"Yes," she admitted, and clicked off the device. She set it back into its case while he opened and closed his hand to get the new skin to loosen up. She looked at him and declared, “Loki, brother of Thor, sons of Odin, King of Asgard.” 

He gave a bitter laugh. “Well, your information is somewhat out of date, but yes.” She frowned and he waved a hand. “Let’s just say, we had a difference of opinion. But I am curious, Gamora, _why _do you know about me? As I told Yondu, I have scarcely spent any time in this part of the universe at all.” 

She took a moment before answering in a level voice that didn't quite hide the horror of her story. “I had a difference of opinion with my father, too. Or at least the man who raised me and called me daughter. The one who altered me, and taught me to kill at his command. The one who ordered me to retrieve that stone for him, but I knew the universe will _burn _if he gets his hand on it, so I left.” He watched her, a terrible intuition seizing him, and yet he didn’t guess before she said, “Thanos.” 

He let out a breath. _Thanos_. He knew the tales; some grand and glorious, but even the most triumphant of them couldn’t hide the undercurrent of terror at their enemy’s deeds. 

“You know of him,” she said. It was not a question. 

“The Mad Titan,” he admitted. “But it is old lore.” 

"Not to me," she answered. Her eyes settled on his throat. "Since I have tools here, do you want that off?"

His fingers tugged at it. "Oh yes, if you would. I will donate the gold to ship's funds."

"Don't tell Rocket that," she advised drily, and had him face away while she pulled another tool kit near. He gathered his hair to one side, wondering that he was allowing a plasma welder near his head.

_"She intends only what she says",_ Cosmo confirmed, which fit with his own evaluation of her as someone forthright and calm.

As she tightened the cutter's beam and set it to the torque, he asked curiously, “Why does Thanos know of _me_? Odin, yes, the lore says they fought. Why am I of concern to him?” 

“Because you’re on the list of his enemies,” she answered. “The standing order is you and your brother are to be tortured and broken, made to serve him and then lay waste to Asgard to cause grief to Odin before Thanos kills him.”

Loki chuckled. “Bit late for that.” He didn’t want to answer the unspoken question, and added lightly, “Well, I suppose I’m especially glad I never gave the Kree my real name.”

"Yes. There is a bounty." She pulled the torque off his neck and hissed through her teeth in dismay. "It looks as if it burned deep. It may scar."

He touched the still-tender skin but turned to face her with a forced smile. "A scar is a small price to pay for my freedom. Thank you, Gamora." 

She didn't seem to know what to do with his thanks, giving a small jerky nod and putting the tool back in its drawer and the gold piece in the smaller compartment behind the doll. "I wonder that Yondu didn't know about the bounty on you."

"I think he did, but he also knows he's a dead man if he moves against me," Loki guessed, remembering Yondu's face when Loki had taken his arrow. That had been the face of a man who knew his limits.

She nodded once. "Likely. Peter mentioned that Yondu was exiled by the other clans, so he doesn't have to play by their rules. But still, be careful. I will watch your back" Her lips twisted in almost a smile. "Against Thanos, we need all the allies we can gather. But I still don't understand, why risk your life against Ronan? The rest of us have nothing to lose." 

"I'm here in borrowed clothes and nothing else to my name. Does it appear I have anything left to lose?" he asked, incredulous. 

"You have family. Even if estranged, they live. Your world lives. Why not go back?"

"I have nothing to go back to." He saw her expression of disbelief -- that he would say that when he still had 'family' - and almost smiled in bitter amusement. "We are not so different, you and I. Less than you believe. In any case, it makes no difference. Death and I are old friends, and my fate has never been my own. I will stay on course to the end."

She seemed reluctant but nodded. "All right." She started to walk away and then touched the hilt of her weapon, turning back. "Before you hear it from someone else, my sword - it's called Godslayer. For killing an Asgardian."

She tensed, concerned that he would be offended. "You?" he asked, but since he could recall nothing about any Asgardian killed recently by a green-skinned warrior, he wasn't surprised when she shook her head.

"Before me. Thanos awarded it to me," she confessed, glancing away, "After my first kill."

He reached out to touch the blade with his fingers."Then I hope you keep your blade sharp and let it run with the blood of Thanos and all his allies." 

Her gaze snapped up to meet his, stunned by the lack of condemnation she had seemingly expected from her confession, and she nodded.

He changed the subject. "Is there any food? Tivan was a poor host." 

"Sure. Not much. Just ration packs." She rooted in one of the cabinets and threw him two pouches. He grabbed them out of the air and thanked her again as she shimmied up the ladder to the cockpit. 

Tearing open one, he dumped the contents on the cleanest small tray he could find and laid it on the bench for Cosmo, while Loki sat next to him and swallowed the dull salty paste with a grimace. 

"I was hoping freedom would taste better," he muttered to Cosmo, who licked up his in seconds without complaint.

"_They gave no food to Cosmo in capsule," _Cosmo murmured padding closer on the bench and lying down with his head on Loki's leg. Loki took the hint and rubbed his ears. "_No food at all until now." _

"When we're out of this, we'll get some real food, I promise. Something delicious." 

What 'out of this' might look like, he wasn't sure. He knew what he wanted to happen, but aside from getting the Power Gem from Ronan, his plans beyond that were full of more wishful thinking than anything.

Take the stone from Ronan, hide the stone, keep it from Thanos ... 

He could think of nothing else when Cosmo was right there. Anything more he kept vague and quiet, behind his intent to keep the stone from Thanos and Ronan.

But there was more, he just hoped he'd have a way to implement it. The Kree weren't the only targets of his vengeance.

They went up to the cockpit as Quill piloted the _Milano _to a holding position near the Ravager cruiser then glanced around to tell him, "Xandar knows what's going down. Hopefully they believe me."

Gamora gave him a look that said failure of their belief would be Quill's fault, but added to Loki and Cosmo, "We're waiting on Yondu to give the go-ahead. So far no word from Xandar that the attack's begun." 

Loki nodded. "There will be. He won't stop himself." 

"Agreed," she said. "He was supposed to turn the stone over to Thanos, but with it in hand, he'll never agree to turn back." 

"While we wait, can I just say, I've never, and I mean _never_, seen anyone do that to Yondu?" Quill said. "That arrow of his has terrorized everyone for years, and seeing you catch it like that? That made my day."

Loki smirked. "Glad to be of service." It had made his day, too. It felt good to be powerful again, after being weak for so long. 

"You can take Ronan, right?" Quill asked. "Because this is gonna suck otherwise."

Loki could lie, and say yes without hesitation, but it seemed the wrong approach in this circumstance. He didn't want them to think he could do it alone, because he was not sure he could, but he also didn't want to say he couldn't. "Let me tell you something about Asgard, Peter Quill. The reason Asgard rules the Nine Realms, isn't because we live a long time and are strong. That's part of it, certainly, but the main reason is that Asgard will fight until they win. Every battle, every war, they fight until they choose to stop fighting. We must think like that, here. All of us, together, we must find a way to win."

Quill nodded, looking more resolute. Gamora looked more skeptical, but didn't argue, and Groot said, "_We will win."_

They got the word from Xandar that the _Dark Aster _had appeared in-system and was heading for Xandar.

Quill clicked on the comm, "Ready, Rocket?"

"_Ready, Quill. Let's do this."_

Yondu ordered the fleet ahead, and they entered the first transition.

* * *

They had not expected the vast numbers of fighters protecting the _Dark Aster_, which had been somewhat short-sighted of all of them, especially as it became more tenuous that they could get close enough to the ship to breach it at all. The screen of fighters made Loki wonder if Ronan had any crew left on the ship.

Quill's piloting skills and Gamora's weapons accuracy were impressive, but ultimately they were going to fail. Loki stood up from the passenger seat, intending to tell Quill to head for the top of the ship. He could drop out of the _Milano, _and make his way inside himself.

But then a crackle came over the comms, "_Peter Quill, this is Denarian Saal of the Nova Corps. For the record, I advised against trusting you here_."

Quill shot a delighted grin at Gamora. "They got my dick message!"

Loki decided he didn't want to know, and sat down again as the Nova Corps joined the battle. He held on tight, wishing he could help more, as they breached the Kree ship but Yondu's ship fell away, too damaged to enter with them, and Rocket's ship was engulfed.

But Quill gritted his teeth and shoved the _Milano _into the hull breach, all weapons firing to get them in as far as possible.

Drax was shouting enthusiastically, while Loki held himself very still, arms protectively around Cosmo in his lap, ready to expand his shield around the cockpit.

With a final horrible lurch the _Milano _stopped. The ship groaned and creaked, something clanged onto roof making them all jump, but the transparisteel held with only a web of cracks.

Gamora threw off the seat restraint and stood. "We have to move." 

Quill fired the weapons once last time, and they all got their feet to hurry down the ladder.

_"Clear outside," _Cosmo reported, so Loki had no concerns about being fired upon as the ramp opened. 

Th group hurried down, armed and ready. Gamora glanced around to get her bearings amid the fallen debris of machine part storage. "This way." 

She led them into an unlit corridor, though whether the lights were off because of damage or this section was always dim Loki didn't know. He could see well enough, and Cosmo seemed not to need light either, tucked near his feet and navigating by his other senses, but Drax complained it was hard to see, and Quill was slow as well.

Loki held up a hand to call light, but Groot said, "_I can help." _And immediately released small glowing... flowers? Spores? Loki had no idea but they were beautiful.

Those helped light the way, and even Gamora's face held a flash of delight as she beheld what Groot could do, before she turned, "Command deck is three hundred meters this way."

Drax attempted to chatter, but Cosmo warned, "_There is a person heading our way with murderous intent." _

Loki cut Drax off mid-word, "Enemy approaching."

They all walked more cautiously, but still were taken by surprise as a figure stepped into the light from a cross-corridor. "Gamora," a female voice spat, and a blue-skinned alien came into view. "look at what you have done, you stupid, traitorous-"

Drax fired, and the blast hurled her through a hatchway out of sight. "Nobody talks to my friends that way." 

"Nebula!" Gamora cried and turned to the others, urgently. "That won't stop her. Head to the flight deck, and I'll catch up." 

"Gamora," Quill started, but she was having none of it. 

"Go!" She hurried off in the direction Nebula had been thrown by the powerful blast, disappearing into the shadows.

Without waiting longer, Loki resumed their path, the others hurrying after him. They were soon caught by more defenders, so he knew they were getting close.

"Star-Lord," said the lead of the group of mixed defenders. Loki was surprised to see they weren't all Kree. There were some mercenaries mixed in.

"Korath," Quill snarled and fired. But guards came down the cross-corridor as well, and soon it was too close quarters for the plasma weapons and they fell into hand-to-hand.

"_They seek to delay us," _Cosmo reported. "_Ronan's is intendink to take Dark Aster down, through Nova Corps defensive net." _

And he didn't say so but the ending of that was obvious -- one Ronan was on the surface, he could use the Power Stone and obliterate the planet.

"_I have no intention of letting him do that, if I can help it." _Loki conjured daggers to both hands, pleased to have the power back to do that and even more pleased to feel the familiar hilts nestled properly in his grip. None of these fighters seemed especially skilled or strong, so he was able to work his way through. As soon as he was near the back, he cast an illusion to draw opponents off while he went invisible, and Cosmo trotted after him, shoving enemies away from him telekinetically. 

"_Come on, we have to access the command deck." _

"_Comrade, should be not be waitink for others?" _Cosmo asked, pacing him, but looking like a hound on his own.

"_If we don't get the door open it won't matter where they are." _

There was another group of guards, and Cosmo hurled them telekinetically against the wall until they stopped moving. Loki looked down at his small friend, impressed. "_Nice."_

They were unopposed at the security door, but it was quite imposingly solid in appearance. "Is Ronan on the other side?" he asked. Cosmo tilted his head, eyes fixed on the door, but then looked up at him, brown eyes worried.

"_I sense nothink beyond door."_

"A few Kree have psionic powers, so I'm not surprised they shielded the command deck. Especially a zealot like Ronan. Give the door a try, but I bet its components are shielded, too." He would rather Cosmo open it if he could, but he examined the door himself. It was as he had thought -- it had psionic shielding, but nothing against Asgardian sorcery, which plucked the strings of the universe itself. 

As Cosmo tried to reach the door mechanism, Loki could hear the battle continuing between his new friends and the Kree defenders. They were running out of time. If Cosmo couldn't get the door open, he'd have to wait until Gamora managed to shut down the door from the remote station.

Cosmo caught some of that thought, and looked up at him, quizzically. "_Comrade?" _

"This was always going to be me, Cosmo. Stay with the others, they'll keep you safe."

He gathered his powers and _pushed _through the door. 

"_Comrade, nyet!" _Cosmo shouted in his head, barking frantically, but it was too late.

Loki walked out of the gate onto the command deck of the _Dark Aster_. His surroundings spun, and he had to hold very still and let the dizziness settle and get his bearings. Fortunately it seemed he'd entered unnoticed, whatever sound he had made had been buried by the audio of the battle.

Ronan stood alone at the far end, hammer in hand with the Power Stone implanted in it. He faced a massive viewscreen, through which Loki could see the fiery conflagration of ships outside and down in the city below. 

"XANDAR," Ronan called, voice amplified, "you stand accused!"

Loki hurled his dagger. This one, made in the forges of Nidavellir, penetrated Ronan's armor, sinking into his back. Ronan staggered, giving a cry, and whirled, hammer upraised. "Shut up," Loki advised.

"You!" 

Loki took a step forward, summoning his combat leathers, so the armor formed over Quill's borrowed clothes. The black and green felt like coming home as it settled around him. "Me. I am Loki of Asgard, and we have unfinished business." 

Ronan paused. "Loki of Asgard?" he repeated, surprisingly thoughtful. Loki half-expected him to be in a rage already. "You? I have heard that name before." 

Loki sauntered closer, ready to cast another distraction and illusion, his attitude airy and casually reckless. "Oh, I'm sure you have. That's what happens when you celebrate your nine hundredth birthday, everyone knows your name." He twirled his daggers. "But we both know who you heard it from, don't we? From your master Thanos the Mad Titan. How long until he yanks your chain, Kree, and brings you to heel?

_I hope you're getting this, Xandar. _

"I have the Power Stone, he is _nothing_ now," Ronan snarled, lifting the hammer to display the violet gem embedded in it.

"Really? How many stones does he have already?" Loki asked. He thought Gamora would've mentioned Thanos having another, but curiously Ronan twitched as if he knew there was another in play. Interesting. Thanos had to be close to at least another one and Ronan knew it. "You know he wants all six." 

"This one is mine, and I will destroy Xandar with it." 

Loki affected a shrug. "Fine. You kill Xandar, then what? Do you think Thanos will sit idly by while you hold one of _his _stones? He will come take it from you and you will never be safe as his enemy. Unless you come with me." 

He didn't think it would actually work-- Ronan was far too gone to back down now, even as he broke his alliance with Thanos. But he did hesitate, looking toward the viewport as if balancing his thirst for vengeance with his knowledge that Thanos would stop at nothing to punish him.

But Loki's delicate plan exploded literally, as an enraged trash panda firing all his weapons crashed straight into the window. 

Loki dove to the side, rolling frantically to get clear as the M-ship careened inside, past him, and slammed into the security door at the back. 

Before the ship had stopped shuddering, he was on his feet. He had to find Ronan and the stone, while he could.

He glanced around frantically, looking for Kree warlords on the floor, and an instant later realized how stupid he was being. He didn't need _Ronan_, he needed the Stone. And that should be easy to locate.

Opening himself to seidr again, he saw the Power Stone glowed like a star and went straight to it. Ronan, having taken the ship's crash more directly was still laid out on the floor, stuck beneath the aft wing, and his hammer fallen to the side.

He reached out to pluck the Stone from the hammer but hesitated. He could touch it - he was certain - but there was no reason to be stupid and touch it longer than necessary. He summoned a containment vessel, wrapped his shield tight around his hand just in case, pried the Stone off the hammer, and dropped it into the crystal orb.

The power from it though -- it caressed his skin like a warm summer breeze, whispering what he could do with it. 

_I know, I know_, _Ronan isn't the only one who can use you for vengeance. Soon. Soon you can destroy an entire Realm. Soon we will show them how to fear._

He snapped the lid on it, stood, and turned to find Rocket there. "Hey, Loki, you got it?" he nodded toward the box. "We should tell them and hurry, cuz I think the ship's falling." 

"Is it?" he asked. "Perhaps while you get the door open to let out friends in, I will see what I can do with the ship." 

"All right," Rocket agreed, and hurried to the door. Loki headed instead for the commander's escape craft. He was tempted to take Rocket's ship - it looked intact all things considered and the M-ship would be much faster - but hyperspace capability could be damaged easily. The captain's snubnose would be kept in perfect condition.

He slipped behind illusion to find the secret entrance in the back corner of the deck. For a moment he feared the mechanism was broken and was about to wield the stone to force it, when the hatch hissed open to a narrow dark space.

He swallowed and forced himself inside, and then shut the hatch behind him, slamming the mechanism with his fist to keep them from following. Disdaining the short ladder, he jumped from the ledge straight into the seat.

The cockpit window shut as the auto-escape sequence started and in seconds, the ship was ejected from the _Dark Aster_. Rocket was right; it was still falling. But without the Power Stone, it didn't matter much as it sank towards the fields south of the city that had already been evacuated.

"_Comrade?" _Cosmo's mental voice touched him, anxious and afraid.

_"I've done what I can, Cosmo. Xandar is saved. But there is still a reckoning to be made." _

The coordinates for Asgard were much too far in this ship. He punched in the first jump and felt a twinge of sorrow. "_Goodbye, Cosmo. You were a good friend." _

"NYET!" Cosmo's mind tried to seize his, panicking and desperate, wanting him to stop, no, don't do this...

But Loki pulled away and activated the ship to hyperspace. A second later, the feel of Cosmo was gone and Loki was alone.


	5. Chapter 5

Alone in the cockpit of the small Kree ship for those long hours, he gathered his anger, his resentment, his hate into a ball of pure rage lodged in his chest. He fed it his memories: Odin's scorn, Thor's slights, his 'friends' betrayal, the lies, the abandonment. Everything they had done to him, he would repay. Everything Ronan had intended for Xandar, Loki would do, with more cause.

He would activate the Power Stone on the surface and burn it. That violet energy would spread and consume the life on it, burrow deep within the stone of the whole Realm, before cracking it into pieces to fall into the void forever.

When he cleared the last transition finally, having to calculate the jump by hand because Asgard remained uncharted to the Kree, he was not prepared for the sight.

He had never seen Asgard from this vantage before. Ironically, the closest he had come was on the underside of the Bifrost bridge, but he had seen only half the Realm, and that had vanished quickly, swallowed into the nothing. But now he saw it all laid before him: the golden towers, the sea falling off into infinity, the snow-capped peaks, the rainbow bridge rebuilt and gleaming... all of it hit him like a physical blow to the chest.

His promise to himself that he could destroy it was suddenly revealed as a foolish lie. No matter how angry he was, the Realm itself was not his enemy and destroying it would rip his own heart out. 

At the moment he had decided that he felt a familiar touch, as golden eyes looked at him, seeking threat of this ship suddenly appearing in the sky.

Loki sensed Heimdall's surprise through the thin connection. That pure astonishment was oddly gratifying. 

He landed the ship just outside the rebuilt Observatory. It was strange to look at it, as if nothing had happened. Had all of it been a terrible dream from that moment the Frost Giant had seized his arm and his world had shattered with it?

He touched the still-raw skin at his throat, proof of the Collector, and reminded himself that it was all real. He could not let them escape from their responsibilities with such weak, sentimental lies. 

Heimdall emerged from the Observatory, as Loki climbed out of the craft. For a moment unsettling golden eyes stared at him and Loki stared back, remembering encasing Heimdall into ice. Remembering Heimdall's treachery against him, and his favoritism of Thor. None of this would've happened had Heimdall done what he ought, and not allowed Thor to go to Jotunheim.

Loki flashed a cold smile. "You seem confused, Watcher. Surely you of all people knew I would make it back one day?" 

"No," Heimdall answered in that deep grumble. "I did not. You were dead."

For an instant, Loki was taken back by the blunt declaration. Heimdall had believed Loki was _dead_? How was that even possible? It had to be a lie.

"Ah, yes, I see. Your skills at far-seeing must only be for those you _want _to find, is that it?" 

Heimdall heard the sarcasm and straightened, defending himself, "I saw your death," he insisted. "In the void. I saw you... torn asunder."

Loki knew what he'd seen, with a shiver of remembrance. He'd put so much of himself and his power into the effort to escape, it might have looked like being ripped apart. 

Voice laced with dry irony, he told Heimdall, "Tragically, no, that was not what it was. But you didn't bother to look again, did you?" The door had spat him out to a random location a long way from Asgard, and without his powers, Loki had no way of making his presence visible to Heimdall. He barked a bitter laugh. "Certainly you never looked a bit to the left when Sif and Volstagg visited the Collector, did you? A shame really, now I suppose we'll never know if you would have told anyone what you saw." He didn't wait for a response, because he didn't want to know. He was wasting time with Heimdall anyway. "I suppose it doesn't matter. I have business in the palace."

"What business is that?" Heimdall asked, brows drawing together.

Loki leveled a glare at him, quite a bit more tempted to use the stone now. "None of yours." 

_Try me, Watcher, and I will turn this whole Realm to ash. I know the prophecy and I stopped caring the moment the void spat me out into Hel._

Heimdall gave a slow nod. Loki turned away and pulled lightly on the Power Stone, conjuring seidr to open the way. 

The other end of the short portal released him into the back of the throne hall with its giant columns and the great throne at the end. Oddly, some of it looked quite... new, as if there had been some repairs made to several columns and even the great throne itself.

Odin was there, he saw at once, holding court with Gungnir and the usual sycophants and warriors and attendants arrayed before him. But his head snapped up and his eye sought the back of the hall. He got to his feet, gave orders to the gathering, but Loki heard none of them.

His breath, his heart, all of it stuttered to a stop, as he looked across that expanse of the hall. He fingered the Power Stone, as a scream built in his chest - _why why why did you abandon me? why was I not good enough why did you not look why can't I just activate the Stone and burn this whole place down?_

The pain shattered him into a billion pieces, and he whirled and ran. He shoved whatever got in his way blindly, uncaring, just away, and he ran until he threw himself to the ground. 

On his knees, he folded over, gasping sobs as he clutched at his hair. 

He was weak, nothing but weak. He should never have come back. He couldn't do it, so why did he come back? Why did he destroy what tentative friendships he'd made against Ronan, only to throw them away on a stupid quest for vengeance he couldn't even carry out? 

Why? Because he was foolish and stupid, and made foolish and stupid plans that ruined everything. That was what he did. It was who he was. The Frost Giant monster son who had never been more than a hostage - he wasn't smart, or strong, or a god. Just a monster of the ice. 

As rage settled into self-loathing, he looked up, to see where he was. It was almost funny - _of course_ he'd end up here. Where else did a distraught child end up but his mother's garden? He'd spent hours in this place when he'd been young and upset by the teasing, the unfairness, his own weakness... 

He was on the grass next to the gravel path, close to the central fountain with its lifelike marble fish cavorting. He hauled himself up to the flat edge where he always sat and pulled the Power Stone's little containment box into his hand and stared at it.

Odin knew he was here, in Asgard, it would be only a matter of time before someone came to him. So he would wait. Once, he might have paced; before, he would have fidgeted. Now he sat with the stillness of the stone not the rushing of the water, but it was a portentous stillness, a weight that pressed on him as he held the case of a deceptively small gemstone.

He would have his answers, or he would open the case and nothing would withstand him this time.

He didn’t have to wait long. He knew who would be sent to confront him. His lips quirked in fleeting grim amusement at the familiar footsteps. Indeed, as he had expected.

“Loki, Loki, it is you!” Frigga exclaimed, her step quickening at the sight of him across the path.

He turned, steeling himself for the sight of her. A warmth sprouted in his chest anyway, irrepressible at the sight of her face and loving eyes, the bright smile of welcome and delight she wore.

Still, he uncurled his fingers, to reveal the orb. She might not know what was inside, but she could sense the power of it.

Her footstep paused when she saw what he carried. She looked in his face, and tried another smile as she said more carefully in a tone one used to speak to a hound that might attack. “Loki? It is -- is so wonderful to see you. I - I had thought you were lost.”

He was stone, not water, not fire. He would not yield to her. “I was,” he answered, voice kept level and cool. “I was lost in places dark and terrible, shadows without end, without consolation, as I longed for death that remained out of my reach.” 

She gasped, brow knitting in distress, and she held out a hand toward him, as if to touch him. “No, my son --” 

The name shattered his careful control like lightning and he exploded back to his feet. “No! I am not your son, you lie and you lie. Tell me who I am! _What _I am,” Loki demanded of her, his fingers gripping the stone and turning white.

“Darling--” Frigga started.

“TELL ME!” he shouted. Then, chest heaving for breaths that kept getting caught, he clenched his jaw and said more quietly, “Tell me how it is that Taneleer Tivan thinks I am an Aesir-Jotunn hybrid. And don’t lie to me again.” He held up the Power Gem, winding enough seidr around the case to crack it open so the violet glow and the power spilled from it over his hand like water. “I have no more patience, _Mother._” 

Her eyes shut, face drawn in sudden pain. “You say that as if you think it false,” she began, scarcely above a whisper.

With painful precision, he said, “I acknowledge that you raised me, I will not deny that. I deny that we share blood. As you did, yourself, that day above the Allfather’s bed where he lay in the Odinsleep. Yet you know more than that.”

"Yes," she admitted. "You are my son, Loki. But not by blood."

"Who was she? Is Laufey even my father? Or was that another lie?"

"You.. are... Odin's blood," Frigga whispered.

He stared at her, completely flummoxed. "What? He's my father after all? I'm his bastard? With a Frost Giant?"

"No, no," she shook her head urgently, wringing her hands. "Odin is not your father. He is your grandfather."

That was even more confusing, and he couldn't wrap his head around it. "Thor's not old enough..." 

"Thor is not Odin's only child."

That was impossible. He'd never _heard _of such a thing. 

The truth now revealed, she seemed to find new strength and settled on the rim of the fountain, patting the space he'd vacated. "Sit. I will explain." 

He did not have the will to refuse, though he knew he should. What difference did this make? And yet -- he had to know. Taking a seat, he shut the orb again and clutched his hand with the Stone on his knee and he waited.

Frigga's gaze grew distant. "She was Odin's heir, born to his first queen, long before me. His daughter was powerful, ambitious, and she could not bear Odin's change of heart about the conquests of the Nine Realms. She attempted to murder me and Thor then unborn, and then, in her final rebellion against Odin she allied with Laufey, bore his child in an attempt to recreate the Odinforce, but in the end they were defeated. Every bit of her was erased from the histories, except for the tale of how a sorceress named Hela destroyed the Valkyrie."

His lips parted in shock, because that story he knew. "Hela? Was Odin's _daughter_?"

Frigga nodded once and sighed softly. "She was. And your birth mother. Odin imprisoned her on Helheim. As far as I know, she bides there still." 

She could be alive. She was his mother. And a traitor. A murderer. A _monster_.

He didn't know what to think of any of this. "And me?" he asked, voice barely crawling out of his throat. "If that's true, why did he bring me here? The child of a traitor and his enemy."

She shook her head, and extended a hand toward him, beseechingly. "Oh, darling, no. You were an innocent child. A baby, at the time. Of course Odin brought you home." She smiled at him, her eyes bright with unshed tears. "And I have loved you every day since." 

He wanted to be moved by that, but anger and confusion were still a knot in his chest that let nothing else out. "But he didn't, did he? All he ever saw when he looked at me was _her."_

"No, Loki--"

"YES HE DID!" It burst out of him, fury stoked again. "He favored Thor, loved Thor, gave Thor _everything_, because I was the Frost Giant bastard of the daughter he erased. _Of course_ I would be a traitor. Of course I would want to overthrow him. He was waiting for that all along! No wonder he was _relieved _when I fell." 

"He wasn't!" she protested.

He faced her, now abruptly calm, and said, "You didn't see his face when I let go."

She gasped. "What? You -- you-- Loki, no," she shook her head in denial, and her lip quivered.

"I guess they didn't tell you that part," he realized with a bitter amusement.

"But... why? Why would you do that?" 

He thought of and discarded responses, wondering how she still didn't understand. "Because I knew there was nothing left for me here." 

"No, sweetling--"

He cut her off. "On the worst day of my life, finding out my entire _existence _was a lie, you ran to Thor." She didn't remember, frowning at the accusation, before her eyes cleared and she shook her head. He didn't let her speak. "I saw at that moment, killing Laufey hadn't been enough. Killing all of Jotunheim wasn't enough." He barked a laugh, now understanding the truth. "Of course not, because that was the problem, wasn't it? That was what she did."

"Loki, you are our son, that's the truth. No matter your blood," she tried, but he was having none of it.

"Don't. You know how I know the truth? Because I spent a year in pain and fear and you never _looked for me_." He threw that in her face, knowing it was true, and watched her turn pale.

She wrung her hands together, and couldn't meet his gaze. "Odin told me you were dead," she whispered. "I hoped you were not, but-- I had no reason to doubt him. That you were lost."

Hearing her admit it, he had to close his eyes. The one person he had hoped would look for him, had never even tried.

"Sif and Volstagg were _there_," he whispered. "I saw them, from my cell of glass, while my flesh cooked in the heat and I breathed poison gas. Do you have any idea how much it hurt to believe they had come to rescue me, and then they _left_?"

Inhaling a deep breath, he looked at the Gem in his palm. "I came here to obliterate this place. My rage sustained me through trials you cannot even _imagine_, and I wanted to burn it all. But ...that's gone. I see now this was always inevitable. I should never have been born." 

She made a sound in her throat of shock and denial. "No, Loki, not at all." He ignored her.

"And I certainly shouldn't be here." He clenched a fist around the stone, tightly enough his shield on it thinned so the power of it threatened to burn his hand, and lifted his head.

Frigga read the resolution in his face and rushed toward him, hands outstretched to hold him back, but he'd already called on the power. 

Her hands slipped through the illusion he'd left in place, and as the green-gold wave of light erased his form, he told her simply, without anger or forgiveness or promise, "Goodbye." 

The teleportation wasn't far, just to the shore. He had a view of the Bifrost bridge and pondered getting back into the Kree ship -- but what was the point? Where would he go?

He knew what happened if he threw himself off the bridge into the nothing. So that was no solution either.

He sat on the edge, and dangled his feet over the rush of the water.

What should he do? He had nowhere to go. He had nothing. His family had always expected the worst from him, so maybe he should show them. With the Power Stone in hand, he could track the others, take them all. Conquer Asgard. Overthrow Odin and take his throne, as his mother had wanted. He could free her, couldn't he? They could avenge themselves together.

Except that all sounded wrong. He didn't want to be a monster. If he did, he could just burn Asgard right now. So what else? He could leave. Try someplace new and start over. Probably get captured and enslaved again. 

_The truth is, I should never have been born at all. _

He pulled out the Stone and stared at it with growing hunger. He could let it consume him. The Stone could undo his mistake in the void, when he'd survived.

“Hey,” a familiar voice greeted, a bit of false cheer overlaying the hesitancy. 

Certain for a moment that he'd lost his mind, Loki raised his head. He saw Peter Quill standing there, not ten paces away, and behind him, on the bridge sat the _Milano. _"Quill? What are you doing here?" Then it occurred to him what had happened last between them, and his shoulders slumped, dropping his gaze again. They'd pursued him because of the Power Stone. "Oh, of course." 

Quill ambled nearer and sat down, dangling his feet over the edge, too. "This doesn't look very safe." 

"It isn't. How did you find Asgard?" 

"Cosmo," Quill said, which wasn't really an answer and Loki darted a confused look at him. "Apparently you told him the coordinates?" Quill shrugged. "I don't know, man. Telepathic dog, whatever, he knew. As soon as we got the _Milano_ fixed up, we came after you, to try and stop you from destroying the place, like he was afraid you would."

"But not you?" Loki asked.

"Nah. I knew you wouldn't." When Loki darted another incredulous look at that, Quill amended, "Well, _hoped_ you wouldn't. Cosmo and Gamora told us why you were angry, but I didn't think you'd kill _everybody _over that. You're not Ronan, even if you thought you wanted to be for a little while."

Loki shook his head a little, but couldn't disagree. Because wasn't he sitting here, with Asgard definitely not in flames behind him? "I wanted to," he murmured. "I still do, really." He opened his hand to show the Stone's little house in his palm. "They betrayed me. They lied to me, and abandoned me, and took what I thought I knew and turned it upside-down _again_. There is still such rage in my heart, I want..." His voice stopped. What did he truly want? To forget the truth, forget the past, perhaps to simply forget. Most of all, he thought he wanted to rest. More wearily he gave the truth, "I want to burn it down, but I won't. So I ruined our ... alliance, for nothing." 

Quill let a silence fall between them, before he shook his head. "Nah you didn't. Ruin our friendship, I mean," Quill said, in obvious disregard of the word Loki had avoided.

"Of course I did. I left you all in a falling ship, Ronan still alive, and I took the Power Stone for my own petty vengeance." 

"Well, when you put it that way..." Quill quipped, but he made it sound like teasing. Loki wasn't quite sure what to make of it. "So what you're saying is, you're a screw-up?"

Loki nodded once. "Yes. Obviously." 

"Welcome to the crew." 

Loki blinked and slowly turned his head to stare at Quill. "Are you completely mad? Why would you say such a thing? Is this a _joke?"_

"You might have noticed we're all screw-ups? Hell, didn't Drax nearly get us all killed when we met? And you should've seen the shit Rocket pulled, and probably still will. And Gamora, you know, notorious galactic assassin for a genocidal warlord. Kind of a screw-up on a big scale, right? I think the guy who took the Power Stone from Ronan and saved Xandar will fit right in." Only then he looked a little uncomfortable and added, "Y'know, if you want. I realize you're a _prince _and a god or something like that, so it's slumming it to be with us, but -- if you're looking for a crew, we're yours." 

"I--" he started but didn't know what to say, the offer was so unexpected. He'd thought he'd destroyed his brand-new connection with them, and yet Quill was offering it back. It was a grace Loki knew he didn't deserve, and had to wonder if there was a trick in it. Perhaps Quill meant it, but the others... 

Then a familiar presence touched his thoughts, "_No, comrade. We are all agreeink-- all crew together." _

_"Even after I abandoned you?" _Loki demanded.

"_You did not. Or you would not have let me see Asgard's coordinates," _Cosmo replied, mental voice steady and blameless. It seemed very close, and then there he was, trotting along the shore from the bridge. His big brown eyes seemed somber but his tail was wagging. "_It is good seeink you again. Friend."_ He put his front paws on Loki's leg and stared into his eyes. "_You are not beink alone. Not now, not ever, not as long as Cosmo is beink here."_

Loki's free hand slid over Cosmo's back to pull him closer and buried his face in Cosmo's fur to hide the wet heat threatening his eyes. "_I'm sorry, I'm sorry..." _

Cosmo licked his cheek, jolting him out of the anxious regret. "_You are free, Comrade. Let go past and seek future."_

A moment later he had himself under control, and lifted his head again. "All right," he said, and had to clear his throat. "Here." He held the Stone out to Quill. "You should take it." 

Peter reared back like it was poison. "Me?"

"It cannot stay here. Asgard has not its strength of old. You need to find a safer place for it."

"First of all, 'we'," Quill corrected. "Second, you should keep it. I think you're the only one who can touch it without exploding, right? So you keep it. Third, I thought we were giving it to Xandar?"

Loki shook his head. "They would try, no doubt, but Ronan damaged their fleet. It might do for temporary measures, but to keep it from Thanos we need a more secure hiding place." 

Quill pondered, chewing his lip. "We'll get the others' help. We can figure something out." His head turned as another figure came walking up the bridge toward them. "Uh... big guy, three o'clock," he warned in a whisper.

"Drax is coming at three? Why are you whispering?" Loki asked, confused.

"_Someone approaches_," Cosmo explained and put some sort of duodecimal circle in his mind, and Loki got the metaphor for the angle of approach.

It was Thor, of course. "My brother. Excuse me," Loki told them and went to meet Thor.

Thor didn't hesitate, grabbing him around the shoulders and embracing him tightly. "Loki! Where have you been? I am so glad to see you!" 

The first grab made Loki tense and nearly shove him away, but he caught himself to stand still. After a moment, he relaxed enough to let himself feel it -- in all this, he hadn't blamed Thor. Thor didn't know the truth, though Loki had treated him as if he had. 

It felt like a distant dream now, remembering everything after the aborted coronation. His rage had been so encompassing and then so abruptly extinguished only a little while later and followed by so much else more overwhelming, the memories scarcely felt like his own. 

"Are you?" Loki asked, pulling back. "Really?"

Thor regarded him as if he was mad. "Of course I'm glad to see you! I thought you... I thought you were gone in the void," he added, voice and eyes more pained, as his hand sought Loki's shoulder, and Loki tensed, waiting for those fingers to find the back of his neck. "Where were you?" he repeated. "Why didn't you come home?" 

Loki jerked free. "Because I couldn't. Because no one looked for me." He folded his arms and looked out to the void beyond Asgard. 

"We thought you were dead," Thor protested. 

"Did you? Because Odin told you that? Because he was done with the diseased branch of his family tree and decided it was better to prune it?" 

Thor frowned in confusion. "What? But I thought-- they told me... You're still my brother," he emphasized. 

He didn't know. 

And that was the most hilarious thing Loki had heard in years and he laughed. "Not your brother, your _nephew._" Thor's blank astonishment was delicious and Loki couldn't stop laughing. "So they lied to you, too. Did they give you some story of an abandoned Frost Giant baby, saved from the snow to be raised in the palace? Because that's the one they told me, full of all sorts of self-serving lies. Until the Collector told me that wasn't the truth either. So ask them, Thor - ask Odin about your _sister _and how he managed to erase her from existence, except for her half-breed bastard." 

Thor stumbled back a step, shaking his head. "No, this ... can't be true," he whispered.

But Loki could see he did believe it. "Ask them. I'm sure they'll tell you now that the secret is out." He held up his hand and triggered his shift, turning the skin blue from his forearm to his nails. The first time this had happened, he'd been confused and desperate, hoping the Frost Giant had infected him somehow, while knowing it was real and his life was a lie. Then, the change had been revolting, a monstrous shape of monstrous blood, of reviled creatures. 

When he'd changed to escape the Kree, it had made him want to vomit at first, but pragmatism had won out, since they wouldn't be looking for a blue-skinned humanoid. And it had been useful on that cold planet so he'd settled into some reluctant acceptance of that shape, thinking it was his 'real' body not the pretend one Odin had forced on him for a thousand years.

But now he knew what he really was -- not one or the other. He was both, and both forms were real. Which despite his anger at the lies, eased the broken pieces inside. 

Thor was staring at his hand too, and it occurred to Loki that he had never seen it, only been told of Loki's blood.

"One of them grabbed me on Jotunheim," Loki explained. "That's when I found out. If we hadn't gone there, I might never have known."

"I-- I'm sorry," Thor said, voice sounding helpless. He didn't know what else to say.

"It's not your fault," Loki told him. "I know that now. I thought you had been hiding it from me, too, and everything just... fell apart." Including himself, of course, but he thought Thor understood that. "Then it just kept falling." 

"But you're here now," Thor ventured. "You're back. You're still my brother. That's how I feel, no matter what the truth is."

"I know. And I'm glad of it. I am," he faced Thor again, turning his back on the emptiness of the Void. "But... so much has happened. I'm not who I was before. I'm only beginning to get my head above water, Thor, I can't go back to a place that will push me back down again." Thor opened his mouth to protest that, but Loki held up a hand to stop him. "Listen. Just for once in your life, _listen _to me." Thor shut his mouth and nodded, blue eyes intent on Loki as if he also had more happen to him than Loki knew in their time apart. 

"For so long, all I was - all I seemed to be to anyone else-- was Loki-brother-of-Thor. Your shadow. And then I was less than that. I need to put the pieces together, but I think that is best done not here. Those people," he glanced toward Quill and Cosmo, waiting patiently at the ramp of the _Milano_, and smiled, "they know me. We did some good things, together, and I think we can do some more."

Thor was quiet for a moment, mulling it over, but something in Loki's face must have given away his determination because he didn't try to argue Loki out of it. "If this is something you feel you need to do," he said finally, "then you should. But I will miss you." 

He threw his arms around Loki again, and this time Loki was prepared, and hugged him back, for a moment letting himself feel protected and safe in his big brother's arms as he once had, long ago. "I will miss you, too," he murmured. 

Thor pulled back a little ways, both hands on Loki's shoulders to keep him close and looked into his eyes, "But you will come home? We will see each other again."

Loki thought of Thanos making a move on the universe to gather the Stones and was pretty sure that reunion would be sooner not later. "I promise we'll see each other again," he said. 

Thor, definitely wiser than Loki remembered, caught the omission, but instead of insisting, leaned forward to touch his head to Loki's. "You will always have a place at my side," he murmured as if for Loki's ears alone. "Whatever transpires out there, don't forget that."

"I won't," Loki promised, even if he couldn't promise coming home to stay. Right now, he was still too angry, but 'never' was a very long time for their people. He tried to step free, but Thor's grip tightened.

"I just got you back, you can't go yet," Thor protested thickly.

Loki pulled back to frown at him. "Are you _crying? _Norns, Thor, cheer up. I'm not dead, I didn't burn Asgard to the ground, and I even did something that some might call _heroic_." 

"Of course you did." Loki scrutinized his face for the jest, but saw only an earnest truth. "You can tell me all about it before you leave."

That was transparent. "Thor!" Loki groaned. "No, I am not staying." He glanced toward the hall and grew more serious. "I do not wish to speak to him." 

Thor stepped forward as if he was going to object, then just looked sad. "All right," he agreed. "I-- I can't say I understand, not really, but I don't want to argue."

"Who are you and what have you done with Thor?" Loki quipped, but leaned in to Thor's grip to repeat his promise, "I will see you again, brother."

Thor touched his head to Loki's, his hands tightened on Loki's shoulders, and then he let go. "You will. Until then, be well. And keep in touch." 

"I will." Strange how it was hard to turn and walk away. Not long ago, he would have thought it would be easy, but now, doing it, he was reluctant to turn his back on Thor and leave. He felt very suddenly _alone._

Cosmo trotted up to him. "_I am with you, Comrade,"_ he reminded Loki, lifting his muzzle to look up at Loki with those gentle brown eyes. 

Loki bent to scoop Cosmo up in his arms, getting a startled canine yelp of surprise, but after that, Cosmo radiated delight at being held. "I know, Cosmo. That is the only thing which has made all this bearable," he murmured.

Cosmo licked his face and Loki smiled.

It was with an easier heart that he joined Quill, as the rest came down the ramp of the _MIlano _to greet him. 

"You all right?" Gamora asked.

He returned her gaze and answered, "I will be." She nodded and moved aside from him to enter. 

Drax folded his arms and at first Loki was concerned that he was against Loki rejoining them, but then he said, "You fight well in armor. But you need longer blades. I will teach you."

Loki opened his mouth to protest he had centuries of dagger fighting practice and what else had he to learn, but then changed his mind. "I would be honored, Drax." 

Rocket was waiting at the top, looking away. He was holding a stick in a pot for some reason. "You left," he muttered. 

"I did," Loki admitted. "I thought I needed revenge, and I doubted any of you would wish to go with me."

Rocket's head snapped up to glare at him with his flinty black eyes in the mask-like markings. "Of course we would! Who doesn't like revenge?"

"I-- Of course, you're right. Next time, I will inform everyone of my plan to seek vengeance," Loki promised, only half-jesting.

"Fine, then. Long as that's understood," Rocket said, trying to sound firm and hostile.

"Can I pat your head?" Loki said, as if teasing.

"I'll bite you," Rocket promised. 

"_It's quite nice," _Cosmo put in, telepathically for them both, so Loki stroked Cosmo's head and scratched his neck.

Rocket snorted and showed his teeth, and Loki smiled. "All right. Another time. Where's Groot?" 

Rocket's gaze went to the pot he was holding. "This is Groot."

With a new realization and a sinking feeling inside, he looked at the little stick and noticed tiny eyes, closed in sleep. That "stick" was Groot's offspring. "What--" he had to clear his throat, "what happened?"

"He protected us when the ship crashed," Rocket muttered. "Nothing I tried - and he just -- wrapped us up in a ball to save us."

Subdued, Cosmo added, "_I tried to help, but .... "_

The guilt in both of them made Loki wince, because he knew the truth. If he hadn't left -- if he had stayed to help, he could have saved them. Groot wouldn't have had to sacrifice himself if Loki had been there to use his powers.

"I will -- I will help you care for him, Rocket," Loki promised.

His gaze went from Groot, to Rocket, and then beyond to Drax, Quill, and Gamora, and of course Cosmo still in his arms. "All of you," he added. "For whatever it's worth, I will protect all of you as best I can, I swear."

"Likewise," Quill said and then his voice changed. "I think we're wearing out our welcome."

Loki turned to see a company of Einharjar marching down the bridge. Thor was going to intercept them, but if they had orders from the king, they wouldn't halt for long. "We should go." 

"Just what I was thinking." Quill punched the controls to raise the ramp. "Strap in, guys. We might have to make the jump in a hurry." 

He headed straight for the cockpit, Gamora at his heels. 

"Guns?" Rocket asked, perking up.

"Let's not kill any of them, please," Loki asked. "It is still ... " His voice stopped unsure what to call Asgard. His home? No, it was not that. "Needed," he finished more neutrally.

Rocket shot him a scrunched face disappointed pouting, and stormed off with Groot's pot to find a place of safety, while the _Milano_'s engines hummed to life. 

Loki put Cosmo up the ladder and followed into the cockpit, as the ship took off, just as the troops were approaching. Loki leaned into the window and waved, smirking. _Not today, All-Father. I don't think either of us are ready for that conversation._

Quill turned around, once they were high above Asgard and beyond the shield range. "So what now?"

"We have to deal with the gem," Loki reminded him.

Quill grimaced. "If we're not giving it to Xandar, we might as well keep on the move. So, what do you think? Do we do something good? Something bad? Bit of both?"

"Something good," Gamora said, at the same time Loki said, "Something bad." 

Quill laughed. "Bit of both it is." 

As Quill swung the ship on a new heading, Loki was able to look at Asgard, one last time. The hatred and vengeance had burned from him, but all that seemed left now was a hollow regret of something that had fallen from his grasp.

"_Comrade, you are not beink alone_," Cosmo reminded him. 

As if she'd heard, Gamora looked up at him and gave a little smile. She pointed to the open seat. "Let's see where Peter takes us."

Loki sat down, and Cosmo settled on his lap to get his own view and Loki's hand rubbing his ears. "All right. Let's go." 

The _Milano_ jumped to hyperspace and left Asgard behind.

* * *

_ end._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So that's the end of The Collectible! Hope you enjoyed it, let me know! 
> 
> Maybe more adventures in this 'verse, later? i don't know about you, but the thought of Loki with Toddler Groot is just making my heart go awwww. So there is that hope! (but not soon, I have so much else to finish first!)

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [Art for The Collectible](https://archiveofourown.org/works/21448798) by [RenneMichaels](https://archiveofourown.org/users/RenneMichaels/pseuds/RenneMichaels), [RenneMichaelsArt (RenneMichaels)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/RenneMichaels/pseuds/RenneMichaelsArt)


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